Winter, spring, summer or fall--any season's a good season to make a trip to this mall

As noted before, even Money Magazine’s best place to live has a few eyesores. Plymouth Center being one of them and the Four Seasons Mall being another. If you’ve driven on Highway 169 in the Twin Cities within the last 30 years (who hasn’t?), you’ve probably seen this mall. And unless you live in the area, you probably have never been in it.  The back of the mall faces the highway, with signage on the structure noting what was probably at one time, a sexy lineup of stores. Today, most of the signs are blank white rectangles.

I made my first, only, and last visit to the Four Seasons Mall on a beautiful Sunday afternoon in August 2009. I have no warm fuzzies about this mall and I don’t know of many former tenants. The Four Seasons Mall was built in 1978 and judging by the wood paneling and totally awesome tiled floors with colored squares placed at random, it likely was never updated.

It’s pretty much empty. There’s a quilt shop, a Fresh & Natural Foods (which is actually pretty busy), one of those for-profit colleges advertised on daytime television, a bridal shop, a pizza place, and Thai restaurant. And that’s about it.

I only saw one other person in this mall: a blue-haired lady who was probably on her way to the quilt shop to pick up some batting for her latest creation. She gave me a funny look. I don’t blame her though; I’m walking around a dead mall with a camera dangling from my wrist. Probably thought I was casing the joint or a misguided tourist.

The barren hallway of the Four Seasons Mall

The interior gave me big time Village North flashbacks. (You know, when Village North was in its decline). I’m guessing they were built around the same time (late ’70s). The mall is depressingly clean and the pumped-in music echos down the empty hallways. And plenty of posted signs at every nook and cranny of this mall banning guns and rollerblades.

You really don’t see a lot of those gunbuster signs anymore, although they are still around. Back in 2003, Minnesota passed conceal carry, causing every business owner to freak out, throwing up knee-jerk reaction “No guns allowed” signs in their windows, thinking a trip to Starbucks was going to turn into a shootout. And rollerblading? Really? I don’t think you need to worry about delinquent rollerbladers, Four Seasons Mall, this isn’t 1992.

Okay, so no gunplay and no rollerblading down the hall. Got it.

Really though, this would be a kick ass place for a bunch of lawbreaking juveniles to break out the skateboard. Not to give anyone ideas. Nothin’ like a little rampz, rails, and trespassing!

According to this article, there is little hope for this mall. The property is up for sale and if it gets any takers, it will likely be razed & redeveloped.

I, personally, know nothing about this mall, but another Dumpy Strip Malls reader with the handle “AFS” posted information in the comments–if this isn’t a “sexy” line up of stores, I don’t know what is!

Four Seasons! Ah, the bygone days of my youth, running through the mall on Tacky Hat Day with the Armstrong cross-country team. Former tenants:

Erickson’s NewMarket: As a young lass I’d kick and scream to shop here instead of that blasted Holiday Plus across the street. If you’ve been in a NewMarket and a Holiday Plus, I shouldn’t explain.

This isn't 1992. Deliquent juvies don't rollerblade anywhere anymore, much less in a mall.

Summit School of Dance: if you weren’t quite snotty enough to go to the Dance Shoppe in “downtown” Plymouth, you went here. Was the feeder school for the Armstrong cheerleader squad, yet not the dance team.

Golden China: awrrrsome all-you-can-eat buffet. My now very obese aunt once walked off with one of the steam trays in Homer Simpson-esque fashion.

Woody’s Our Own Hardware-my dad preferred this place for some reason.

Some sporting memorabilia shop called Team Sports that lasted all of nine months. I remember my mom bought my dad a Quebec Nordiques hat from there for Christmas. Ah, they were a lovely team.

Hobby Time was the name of the hobby store on which the commenter above waxed nostalgic. I remember its train sets vaguely; I believed it was closed by the 1990s.

Some beauty school with students smoking out in front.

A bridal discount warehouse. My mom pointed out a pregnant teen girl shopping for gowns there as a “warning.”

The Fan Man: not once in my 13 years of residence in the 55442 did I see a customer in there. My dad posited that they ran some sort of mail order business, but for ceiling fans? Well, this was Plymouth.

Perfection Hair Stylists, just across the hallway from competitor salon Golden Razor. My parents always took me to GR whilst I secretly yearned for the KMS-ridden haze of Perfection.

Snyder Drug was the other anchor, after NewMarket. The source of many of my prescriptions filled through the years, where I once got a flu shot (meh) and the source of the annual coupon book with 5 free items in every book. Packing for college: 10% done. They didn’t hire me for a part-time job (bugger!) but the post office window inside was where I sent off an envelope to the UK in 1995 in the hopes of joining the Bjork Fan Club.

Some discount book shop that I had been inside all of 10 minutes when I left school early senior year of hs in 1999. The cashier gave me the stink eye.

At its high point, Four Seasons Mall got annual visits from Santa, monthly craft fairs and my Girl Scout troop setting up a table to sell Girl Scout cookies. Some 10 years later, it was where my mom called out fellow mothers of Armstrong’s class of 1999 for making and selling coffee with Four Seasons bathroom tap water.

Marcellos Pizza is still there I believe, and this former Chicago and current NYC resident will admit that its pizza was fanthasthico. Later on, it was where my track team would have carbo-loads. Going the distance, going for speed.

Photos taken August 2009.

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The oddball artwork inside the Shoreview Village Mall makes this a great hangout for stoners.

It’s a proven concept that people go bonkers for places that have shit all over the walls. Just look at your average Applebee’s and TGIFridays. The parking lot is usually busy and on Friday nights, the wait list can get up to 45 minutes to get a table. The food isn’t very remarkable, so it can’t be the menu.  It’s gotta be the visual interest element. People are obviously coming because there’s a tire hanging from the ceiling and a leaf blower glued to the wall.

So why not apply that theory to a shopping mall?

This little-known Twin Cities treasure did just that, but judging from its exterior, you’d never know it. Located off of Lexington Avenue and Hwy 96, the Shoreview Village Mall looks like your average strip mall from the outside: an oversized parking lot, boring stores, a smattering of empty storefronts, and “Space Available” signs.  Blah and BLAH. Not a whole lot going on here right?

Slow your roll — it’s a foil. Don’t let the vanilla exterior fool you. Much fun lurks inside! Because someone turned this mall into an arts & craft project.

On the walls inside this shopping lair lies a 19th century-style village brought to life, mural-style, catching off-guard shoppers by surprise. An overwhelming — almost dizzying – Victorian-era mural hits you the minute you walk in the door, making you yearn for a Magic Eraser.

Uh oh! Looks like Charles Dickens is makin' a move for the groove.

No matter where you go inside this mall, the wall paintings follow you.  The mural runs throughout the entire mall, capturing that “Ye Ole Towne” charm & excitement with a vignette of happy townspeople wearing frilly dresses and overcoats, cobblestone roads, loony innkeepers, rolling hills, and lush vegetation. It takes you back to the “good ole days”, when children worked in unsafe factories, hammering away at the soles of shoes until they fainted.  Back when the village idiot would be hung in the town square while the townspeople watched with glee. The days of the Bubonic Plague! Gosh, I’m cheery today.

The  mural is intertwined with the mall tenants. For example, at Meister’s Bar & Grill, the mural depicts a gang of inebriated males drinking ale and toasting the town. The benches, potted plants, fake flowers hanging from the ceiling, and plastic tree stumps are strategically-placed, giving the artwork a 3-D effect. The artist did a nice job showing The Good Life, but should’ve done a real period piece by adding a headless horseman,  a toothless wench in a tight dress with her boobs spilling out of the top, and a scary troll hiding under a bridge to the montage.  And then throw in Jack the Ripper for good measure. Then again, Shoreview Village Mall is a shopping center, not a haunted house. Still would’ve been cool though.

So what’s all in this place, besides the creepy artwork? It houses your average strip mall tenants: A dry cleaners, a dance studio, chiropractic office, Snyder’s, Subway, Hallmark, and so on. There’s also a few places to eat: Wok Cuisine, Subway, an ice cream & coffee place, a pizza place, and a German bar.

A Fresh & Natural Foods anchors the mall, which is great if you like eating grass. This grocer used to be a Jubilee. As far as other former tenants, I really don’t know of any, other than one of those eBay “I’ll sell it for you” shops like on The 40-Year Old Virgin and my dentist’s old office.

This mall didn’t always have its creative flair.  Until 2002, the Shoreview Village Mall was your typical quiet strip mall with flat color walls free of any drawings of butchers, bakers, and candlestick makers.  It was built in 1982, but I never visited this place until sometime in mid ’90s.  My dentist moved his office to the Shoreview Village Mall in the ’90s (creatively named “Shoreview Mall Dental.” Clearly the work of an imaginative individual).  I remember this mall always being creepy, dark, and dingy, and because I associate this mall with going to the dentist (never a pleasant experience), I think of bitter “bubblegum” flavored fluoride treatments, and gritty “berry” flavored toothpaste whenever I drive by this mall.

I can't figure out if these outdated computer monitors & TVs-needing-converter-boxes are *supposed* to be here as part of some sort of artistic symbolism or if it's Shoreview Village Mall's version of a sidewalk sale. Oh yeah, there's a grill. Just in case of an impromptu BBQ.

Dental memories aside, this mall was always pretty dead, so in 2002, the mall owner poured money into this puppy to revive the sad shopping venue to win shoppers & retailers back. The exterior got a face-lift, but what could be done to perk up the inside?

Why, hire a local artist to draw painted lady rowhouses all over the walls and the fun will create itself! Of course.

The owner must’ve been high as a kite when he made that decision. Or perhaps he got the business idea straight out of the pages of Harold and the Purple Crayon and took the concept — if it doesn’t exist, draw it — a bit too far. Since no one is coming to this mall, we will DRAW people in the mall!

Okay then.

Did it work?

…Well, what do you think?

Fuck no, it just made the mall creepier.

I suppose it could’ve been worse — they could’ve went with macaroni art or Spirograph. Or put up velvet paintings of dogs playing poker WITH Elvis and Jesus and James Brown and–AND–AND!!! Have Michael Jackson ghost-moonwalking on the table!

Or did the mural Simpsons-style.

Wait, no. A Simpsons-style mural would’ve been wicked cool.

Photos taken June 2009.

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Check out the Plymouth Center, a retail shopping oasis conveniently located off of Highway 55

Oh dear. What have we here? Could this possibly be the quintessential Dumpy Strip Mall? The Dumpy Strip Mall to end all DUMPY STRIP MALLS?

Let’s see…

Empty store fronts? CHECK.
Deserted, weed-choked parking lot? CHECK.
Crumbling architecture from 40+ years years ago? CHECK.
Businesses putting “Yes! We’re Open!” signage in the window to attract uncertain customers? CHECK
A dump truck staked out in the parking lot? CheckMATE.

This strip mall looks like it belongs on Coon Rapids Blvd, but no.  It’s located off of Highway 55, in the #1 Best Place To Live: Plymouth, Minnesota.

When Money Magazine handed out the awards, apparently they overlooked Plymouth Center

Obviously, it’s attractions like the Plymouth Center that consistently boost Plymouth to the top of Money magazine’s “Best Places To Live” list.

Just as I suspected, there is no information about this place. I can’t give you the juicy details about when it opened, what stores used to be here,  and what the future holds for this place.  But I doubt anyone cares. I mean, look at it! This isn’t the kind of place where we’d see protesters chaining themselves to the building in hopes of saving the mall.

What’s amazing about this place is that it’s still standing. What kind of prize-winning city would let such this roadside shithole take up valuable real estate space?  The entire mall is a gross disregard of Money Magazine’s award, yet somehow, some way, it’s still here.

Plymouth Center looks like a throwback to old skool 1960′s Plymouth, before it became a suburban nightmare with all the soccer moms and copy-cat businesses seeping in. Back when the town was made up of farmland, split level housing, and those zany Church Basement Ladies. Looking at it now, it was built at the wrong time and probably peaked at the wrong time. It’s kind of like the sad story of the guy who peaked in high school who had the fancy car, dashing good looks, and was dating the entire cheer squad. He’s 47 now, in prison.

This strip mall is completely abandoned, despite the welcoming signs in the windows.

Tenants were:
Java Express
Forster’s Meat & Catering
Insomniac Beads
Hair Designs

And Seattle Sutton’s, a unmanned weight loss clinic claiming to be open, with a name that sounds more fitting of a Roller Derby team. You know you’re at a dead mall when a business needs to put “Yes! We’re Open!” signage in the

The decals say YES, but the empty parking lot and locked door say NO

window to attract customers. But when a business has said verbiage in the window and is closed…well, then what?

Really, what the fuck? Seattle Suttons employees too lazy to peel off a few window decals? Think of the all calories that could’ve been burned and the lean muscle mass that could’ve been built. Then again, I’m guessing that Seattle Suttons is one of those “fuck exercise!” diet clinics, and tells its dieters to simply load up your freezer with their frozen shit and watch the pounds melt off. Then they scare you into thinking that the only way to keep the weight off is to keep buying their TV dinners or in a few short years, you will need to be lifted out of your house via crane.

It doesn’t look like this retail blemish will last much longer, with the menacing dump truck chillaxin’ in the parking lot. There are no “For Lease” signs on the premises, so it doesn’t look like commercial real estate agents are out pounding the pavement, trying to sell space in the building. The future doesn’t look rosy,  but for all I know this primitive strip mall could still be standing intact five years from now.

If you have any war stories about the Plymouth Center (and I doubt anyone does), feel free to post in the comments!

Photos taken July 2009

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The Moon Plaza

For those of you who don’t consider yourself “Down to Earth”, Fridley has a shopping center just for you!

Welcome to Moon Plaza, an out-of-this-world 1960′s style strip mall located off of University Avenue in Fridley, MN.  Surrounded by a bunch of crumbling, abandoned buildings, depressing Moon Plaza fits right in with the local atmosphere.

Built in 1965, the Moon Plaza looks like it’s never been updated. The sign itself looks like it’s still stuck in the decade of weed smoking, mud orgies, and free love.  Back in the ’60s, Moon Plaza was probably a pretty groovy place: Parking lot teeming with classic VW bugs and Buick Rivieras.  Go-go dancers in mod dresses getting Twiggy haircuts! Men in search of knock-off John Lennon-style eyeglasses! Worried moms stuffing two shopping carts full of supplies for the fallout shelter into the Chevelle! Mischievous teens dropping acid behind the dumpster!

Today, it’s just another University Avenue Eyesore. No longer giving off that “Hey Hey We’re the Monkees” vibe, Moon Plaza looks so melancholy and depressing that it probably cries itself to sleep every night, hoping, begging, and praying that someone, somewhere will tear it down and replace it with a Sonic and a Jimmy Johns.

The Moon Plaza ought to be sucked into a black hole

Its name — “Moon Plaza” — likely reflects a sign of its time. Constructed during the “Space Race”, America’s obsession with rockets, planets, and starship enterprises was at an all-time high. So what better than to name your new shopping center after a faraway object from the cosmos?

Or perhaps the builder was an exhibitionist and just wanted a place for other hot-doggers to feel welcome to publicly pull down their drawers and reveal their fleshy rear ends to the world (this was the ’60s…).

It was built in ’65, so Man would not land on the moon until 4 years later. But Man could land at Moon Plaza.

*shrugs*

Seems like a viable alternative to me.  Moon Plaza, the next best thing to being Neil Armstrong?

As far as the businesses here, there isn’t much to write home about. Every business here is of the “move-along-nothing-to-see-here” type.  Don’t expect to find a store selling moonrocks or moonboots here.

There’s a dry cleaners, an employment office, a beauty salon, the “Cozy Cafe”,  a Farmer’s Insurance office, etc.  Ho-hum.

I *think* there’s a video rental store here, so you probably could rent Star Wars or Space Jam or something. “Space Jam, come and slam! Welcome to the jam!” Speaking of Space Jam, don’t you wish they made more movies based on shoe commercials?  Anyway…

Enjoy the rest of the photos!

On the particular day I went to take pictures, we were getting a doozy of a snowstorm.

All photos taken December 2008…I originally had more photos but some were lost when my hard drive crashed. Luckily these photos were still on my digital camera’s memory card. I know they’re not the best…

A deserted gas station located near Moon Plaza. Random abandoned buildings are commonplace along Univ. Ave

Waxing or waning, any ol' time a good time to visit the Moon Plaza.

Despite its name, Moon Plaza cannot defy gravity, thus the need for columns to hold up the roof.

I insist to people that it was a nice area in which to grow up, but not everyone these days believes me. Rightfully so. The area has gone to pit.

But in the ’80s, it was nice. Even in the Zane Avenue area. Village North, you haven’t been forgotten!

Village North wasn’t just any old strip mall. Architecturally, it looked like a strip mall, with the shops arranged in a linear fashion, but it functioned more like a regular mall.  It was always busy, you could walk the interior of the mall, they held events like craft shows, and by golly, even Santa paid his yearly visit.

Yep, these ugly townhomes replaced Village North. This particular building style can be found in just about every suburb of Minneapolis. Someone stop Ryland Homes before they take over the metro.

I joke about tearing places down and building condos, but really, that’s exactly what happened to poor Village North. They tore it down sometime in 2003, and by 2006ish, up went a bunch of cookie cutter condos/townhomes. I really don’t know how bad the crime got in the mall – I last visited it in 1998, and it seemed safe enough then.

I apologize for the lack of OLD pictures. It’s not like I didn’t try! With the exception of the Circus Circus pics, all I have are current pictures of what the area looks like today.

You’d never know a landmark strip mall once stood here.

Now it looks like they’re trying to turn Zane Avenue/Brooklyn Blvd into another Plymouth, manufactured city center and all.

The Stores:

I listed these by location – from one end of the mall to the other. This is entirely based on memory, and I could be wrong. Please let me know if you have corrections or additions by emailing me or posting in the comments.

Korner Plaza: Closed in 1987. It was some sort of department store. I believe they sold juniors clothing, toys, and inflatable rafts.  Rafts? Yeah, random, I know. But my mom bought my brother and I each an inflatable raft to use up at the cabin. So they sold outdoor sporting goods too. Go figure.

Minnesota Fabrics: Korner Plaza became Minnesota Fabrics at some point.

Some big pet food store. Not sure if it was a Petco or what…? I can’t remember if  the pet store took over the spot of Minnesota Fabrics when it closed or if they coexisted next door to each other in blissful harmony.

Circus Circus: For us ’80s kids, this was the main draw of Village North. No, it was nothing like its Vegas namesake – this was not a fleabag motel & gambling establishment – it was a kid-friendly arcade. It was just like a Showbiz Pizza or a Chuck E Cheese — greasy pizza, a band of singing mechanical beasts featuring one hella scary gorilla, arcade games, skeeball, bumper cars, tickets redeemable for shit prizes, and the signature dark, dreary decor that gave this place a sinister feeling.

This Circus Circus location had a big ball crawl right near the entrance.  As adults, we all know it’s a bacteria farm. Unless they hired a Hazmat crew to come in to fumigate and sterilize every hour, if you went into the ball crawl, there was a pretty good chance you were going to come out with a rash and a case of the whopping cough. But at least Walgreens was right down the hallway, so you could pick up some Robitussin before heading home

My family at Circus Circus, April 1988

Sometime in the ’80s, Circus Circus remodeled and expanded. I’m not sure when this was, but it had to have been prior to 1988, as the photos below show the new & expanded dining area. The old dining area turned into some sort of sports bar with a bunch of TVs. It was separated from the main dining area by a glass wall (smoking was allowed in this area). You rarely saw families eating in this area; only really, really creepy old men hung out here, drinking beer and and chain smoking.  The guys in here creeped me out – if they want to drink beer and watch the Vikings, why not go to a bar? For pete’s sake, Blondies is right down the road. Yeah…that’s because today, these same men are probably on Dateline’s Chris Hansen’s shit list. I believe they kept the animatronic show in the old eating area, at least for a while.

The new eating area was much larger than the old digs – and had a 3-ring circus style Rockafire Explosion show! (The old stage only allowed the main band). The animatronic show would just start out of nowhere, scaring the crap out of everyone. Being serenaded by a rat cheerleader, a possum in a trash can, and a scary ass gorilla lip syncing Beach Boys songs while eating greasy pizza was every kid’s dream.

They also installed this glass box that looked like a telephone booth inside the eating area. It was used for birthday parties – the birthday boy or girl would go into the box, the Circus Circus mascot (a scary clown with a huge head) started up a fan and a bunch of tickets would fly around in the box. Your job was to catch as many as you could before the time ran out. All kids were envious of whoever the birthday kid was, regardless if you knew him or not. Because WE WANTED TICKETS. They were our passports to treasure, redeemable for a giant Styrofoam pellet teddy bear, a terrycloth wristband, or a plastic yo-yo!

Elegant family dining at Circus Circus. I'm missing from this picture - I was probably off getting a disease in the ballcrawl. My dad is missing too, but he's probably the one snapping the photo - April 1988

When you ordered food at the counter, you were given a number and instructed to watch the monitors for your order to be ready. While we waited for our pizza, Mom and Dad set us loose in the arcade to play games, but instructed us to watch the monitor for our number. And this was how my parents discovered I needed glasses. I kept playing skeeball long after our number came up. Mom thought I was being difficult; truth was, I couldn’t read the monitor. I wasn’t a happy camper! I thought glasses were fug. I only needed them for distance, I didn’t need to wear them full-time. Thank goodness too, because – LIKE, WHAT ABOUT FASHION?!

Great American Music. It had a wood store front. All I can remember is that it sold records and cassettes and was located right by Circus Circus. My mom bought Michael Jackson’s Thriller tape here!

Mario’s Movies & Games: Mario dealt in new and used movies and Nintendo/Sega games. So if you wanted, you could sell your 8-Bit NES and games to Mario (but don’t get your hopes up too high if the only game you had was Super Mario Bros/Duck Hunt. You’d be lucky if he’d give you a quarter for it). Too bad eBay wasn’t around in those days. I don’t know if the place was actually owned by a guy named Mario. Probably not. Chances are, he wanted to capitalize on the Nintendo trend and use the namesake of the chubby video game plumber to lure in the hardcore gamer demographic (a.k.a. impressionable 10 year olds). After all, how many MARIOS do you know?

Famous Footwear: Not much to say about this. Though the Village North location is obviously gone, the Famous Footwears of today still look pretty much the same way they did in the ’80s.

Brauns: I HATED THIS PLACE and I imagine if you grew up in this area in the ’80s, you hated it too. It’s where Mom shopped and where kids whined and fussed. Brauns made Mom look like a mom. They sold Mom Jeans, Mom Shirts, Mom Slacks, Mom Vests, and other various Mom Accessories. Hi Mom!

Simeks Meat & Seafood:  I LOVED their samples! They always had a plate of meatballs near the enterance, so while Mom finished checking out at Walgreens, my brother and I would wander over to Simecks to feast on some meat.  The cashier would give us the evil eye and alert her manager to boot us out of the store if we were sneaking too many meatballs. They also sold some really good RAW cookie dough too.

Radio Shack: If Village North still existed in 2009, this Radio Shack location would still be in business. This chain should’ve died sometime in the VCR age, but nope. It’s apparently harder to kill than a  cockroach. I guess there’s still enough demand out there for phone jacks, DC 12V car adapters, and metal dectectors to support this place.

Walgreens today. I believe it moved to this location in 1998

Walgreens: This was one of the busiest stores in Village North. Our doctor’s office was around the Village North area, so this is where we got all of our prescriptions filled when we were sick.  Today, Walgreens is located about a block down the road, in its own stand-alone building.

Sabo Flowers

Some dry cleaning place

Hallmark

A barber shop: Even had one of those rotating barber poles!

A pet store: I’m not sure if they actually sold pets other than fish and birds, because I only remember getting flakey fish food and tank equipment at this store. I can’t remember its name. They had a great selection of pretty colored fish tank rocks too.

Plaster Paradise:  Plaster Paradise was definitely different. They sold exactly what you think they’d sell – plaster. Yep, plain plaster sculptures, all ready to be colored in whatever lead-based paint hues you wish. Painting these spackle statues didn’t require a whole lot of artistic ability.  Sure, you could REALLY go all out with these plastered widgets, but for the most part, anyone could make these suckers look halfway decent, even my 8 year old brother who liked to destroy my Barbie coloring books by scribbling all over the pages using Crayola’s Raw Umber and only Raw Umber.

This craft was kind of like Ukrainian Egg Art for the less talented. They had a huge selection of various spackle statues – you could paint your own knock-off Precious Moments doll or Hummel statuette. Besides the statuettes, they sold pretty much every other dust-collecting home decor item you could imagine – doorknockers, bookends, wall hangings, napkin rings, Christmas ornaments, weapons of mass destruction… All with a completely blank slate for the do-it-yourself hobbyist. They sold all kinds of painting supplies here too – different sized paint brushes and every color of paint you could imagine.  Most importantly, it was MISSION CRITICAL not to leave this store without an aerosol can of shellack. Your precious artwork was not complete until you doused it with a coating of glaze, giving your brainchild a shiny varnish, ready for household display.

Company’s Coming: They sold everything you needed to throw a kick ass party, without the liquor. Company’s Coming was a “mom and pop” version of a Party City. It was a very tiny store, which really is the ideal size of a party store. I don’t get why places like Party City occupy a building as large as a Wal Mart. A party store need not to be that damn big!

Ben Franklin: I wrote about this place in my 10 Stores I Wish Were Still in Business post – basically, it’s a scaled-down version of a Michael’s. I went here to stock up on  embroidery thread for my BFF Friendship Bracelet business.

Northwest Book Store: A Christian book store that sold bibles, Billy Graham posters, Precious Moments trash, and Sister Theresa bookmarks. I didn’t like this place because they didn’t sell Babysitters Club or Sweet Valley High books. Probably because a Christan book store would think  Jessica Wakefield ranked right up there with Judas.

IGN Super Valu: I wasn’t a fan of Super Valu. Or its red-headed stepchild, Red Owl (located across the street). This grocer had two good things going for it: #1: The chicken clucking machine at the front of the store, where you’d put in a quarter, the chicken would cluck to the beat of a nursery rhyme, and when the song would finish, you’d get a plastic egg with a surprise inside…which was usually incredibly disappointing. I once got a “gold” smiley face ring that broke me out in a nasty rash.

#2: They had baggers who would sack up your groceries for you, place them in a plastic numbered bin, and put them on a rolling belt at the front of the store. You’d go out to your car, pull up to the curb, and the friendly stock boy would place your bags into your car. How nice.

Burger Bros: Took over the grocery store location.  Burger Brothers was a locally-owned company that was acquired by Gander Mountain in 1995. They sold sporting goods and had a giant bear in the store. Burger Brothers closed in 1997.

Around Village North:

The area around Village North was quite memorable too, so it’s worth covering.

In the parking lot area:

Arby’s: Arby’s was located in the Village North parking lot. It probably faced a lot of competition from the Rax across the street. In the end, Arby’s won the Roast Beef War and stayed in business long after Rax shut its doors.

An ATM: There was an ATM in the middle of the Village North parking lot. I don’t know why I remember this, but for some reason, whenever I picture the Village North shopping center, I always remember that ATM.

Marquette Bank: This was a circular shaped building with glass windows all around it in the Village North parking lot.

AMF Village North Bowl: Even back in the ’80s, my parents wouldn’t take us to this particular bowling alley. They thought it was really seedy. And it was – I think I only went there once as a child, for a birthday party. As an adult, I went there once in 2003, and got my drink on. Enough so that I sang at the karaoke bar and cleared out the place in 7 seconds flat. I sure liked their wireless microphone… The bowling alley was in the “back” area of Village North. I think it MIGHT have been connected to the mall, but I’m not sure. This was demolished in 2005. To fill the void, Brunswick Lanes opened up sometime in 2006. Call ahead to get your name on the lane list and don’t forget your glock!

McDonalds: This was a nasty, noxious McDonalds, even back in the ’80s. It was a franchised owned, not a company-owned restaurant, so they did things their way, and it showed. They served seasonal items like an orange milkshake months after the other Mickey Dees ceased sales. They never got your order right, most of the time the cold fries were knocked upside down and spilled all over the bottom of the bag, their hotcakes tasted & looked like glow-in-the-dark frisbees, and when you bit into their chicken nuggets, you often spotted a pink, cordlike tail.

Other places around the area:

Heaven help us, it's still here...

Godfather’s Pizza: I can’t believe this dump is still around. The proof is in the photos!

There was also some sort of cowboy/hee-haw/Cattle Company style restaurant located in the Godfather’s Pizza/Century Court apartments/Blondies vicinity. You couldn’t see it from the main drag, and I can’t remember the name. It didn’t last long, and we only ate there once. All I remember is that ties were not allowed, and if you wore one, they make you take it off and replace it with one of those cowboy Randy Travis-style bolo ties — you know, with the ugly sheriff’s star pendant and a leather rope looped through it.

Century Court/Huntington Pointe Apartments: Brooklyn Park’s version of Cabrini Green. Was notoriously known as the ‘Most Dangerous Place in Brooklyn Park” by my

Brooklyn Park needs more slum lord apartments, not fucking PARKS.

circle of friends. You did NOT go here at night! Century Courts was owned by Harv and Marv – 2 notorious slumlords. It was renamed  “Huntington Pointe” in the late ’90s to improve its image. The entire complex was razed in April 2008 and in its place is a park. Like Brooklyn Park NEEDS more parks….

Blondie’s: This bar is trouble – recent murder scene. Nice.

Across the Boulevard:

Ponderosa Steak House: If you’re not familiar with Ponderosa Steak House, please, for the love of god, don’t let the name fool you. Technically, yes, it’s a steak house, but if you’re expecting Ruth Chris’, Murray’s, or even Timberlodge, you will be quite disappointed. Ponderosa tried to pass itself off as a chophouse, but really it was a toned-down version of the Old Country Buffet.  When a “chophouse” offers a smograsboard (with a taco bar) AND a western-style atmosphere, you’re not going to get a prime cut of meat. You couldn’t pop bottles here (no liquor licence), but you could pop buttons – since you could order a steak AND graze the buffet, you buckaroos could really get your gorge on.

Rax:  It was a fast food roast beef chain, similar to Arby’s. This location used to be a Country Kitchen. We didn’t go here very often, because my mom hated this place. I don’t remember much about it except that they had good shakes, the building looked like a solarium with all the windows, and had wicked cool alligator shaped plastic bottles for the drinks. (Don’t get too excited, Rax didn’t have a liquor license either. Can you imagine what fun drinking a cap’n coke would be in an Uncle Alligator bottle? Blondie’s has the liquor license & it’s across the street, but they sure as hell don’t serve moonshine in an alligator glass. If you asked for something like that, you’d probably get a cap in your ass.

Burger King, photo courtesy of the City of Brooklyn Park

Burger King: Closed in 2004. Demolished in 2006. According to the city of BP, there’s supposed to be a medical building up in its place.

Koops Red Owl: Yuck. Didn’t like grocery shopping here either. It reminded me of a small town grocer, especially with the hanging vinyl strips in the freezer sections, that you had to dip in and out of to get your foodstuff. It was a tiny grocery store and we only went here when we were waiting for our pizza to be ready at the nearby Little Ceasers. The fresh produce section was a mess – you really had to watch your step since half of the produce was smeared all over the floor. The fruit looked too nasty to buy, anyway – wormholed apples, peaches so bruised that it looked like they got in a bar fight, and bananas so spotty it looked like they had a case of the herp. Koops is now a Family Dollar.

Little Ceasers, Clean N Press For Less, Cost Cutters: These were all located in a small strip mall near Koops. The strip mall is still standing but the standard Brooklyn Park lineup of a check cashing place and an employment office prevails. I got my first perm at this Cost Cutters when I was in 3rd grade. I was going to write about how crazy my mom was for letting me get chemically-enhanced hair at that age, but these days, 9 year olds are getting botox, so I guess a perm is pretty tame.

Mr. Roccoo is still here!

Rocky Rococo: And it’s still here! Rocky himself looks more Panama Jack than Italian Pizza Connoisseur but hey, whatever works. They have great pizza! For Valentine’s day, pick your lover up a heart-shaped pizza pie and prepared to get laid. Hubba, hubba!

Goodyear Tires: Still around today!

Denny’s: Yep, Brooklyn Park once had its own Denny’s, a soulless, homogenized version of a greasy spoon-type diner. The only time it’s okay to go to a Denny’s is if it’s 3AM and you’re trying to sober up by eating a chicken fried steak after a night of painting the town red. I didn’t eat at this Denny’s much, maybe a handful of times. When it comes to the 24-hour diner type places,  I always preferred Perkins to Denny’s any day of the week. Two words: WISHING WELL. When I eat greasy diner food, I’m going to shit it all out anyway, so by god, I at least want a cereal-box quality souvenir to commemorate the event.

Dunkin’ Donuts: They served donuts when donuts weren’t kool, krispy, or kremey. There were no community service officers directing traffic in and around this place. No reporters from WCCO. No people pitching tents and camping out for a fucking bear claw. Just donuts, no drama. Donuts didn’t become “cool” in Minnesota until the Krispy Kreme in Maple Grove opened in 2001. I’m guessing this place was closed by 2001 but I’m not entirely sure. I know it was open in 1998, but that’s the last I remember it.

Budget Power: I believe there was a Budget Power in this area, across from Village North. Budget Power was a local hardware chain. I don’t think we ever shopped there. All I remember is that the logo had a lightening bolt.

More places

Rapid Oil Change: Rapid Oil Change turned into some car audio equipment store sometime in the late ’90s. Now it’s some place that’s part barbershop, part spinning rims dealer. Not surprising in the least.

The former Rapid Oil Change location

White Castle and Dairy Queen: Yep, both are still standing to this day!

Seedy Strip Mall off of Brookdale Drive: I can’t recall ANY time we EVER stopped here because even back in the day, this place was a little shady. They had (and still have) a Chinese restaurant here. I’m not sure if it’s the same one or not.

Moonraker Apartments: (At least I think they were the Moonraker Apartments. Please correct me if I am wrong). They always had that sign that said, “If you lived here, you’d be home by now.” These apartments were shit even back in the ’80s.

Please enjoy the rest of the photos – all photos (except where noted) taken December 2008.

Feel free to share your memories of Village North Shopping Center in the comments!

The backend of what was Village North

Another view down the Boulevard

Another view of the Godfather's Pizza. It's empty, yet open for business

Woo hoo! Dairy Queen's still around

Brunswick Zone - come for the lanes, stay for the knife fights

Koops is now a Family Dollar...and it's probably just as nasty inside as it used to be

This was the strip mall right by Koops. There used to be a Little Ceasers, Great Clips, and Clean N Press for Less here

A sign for the seedy strip mall off of Brookdale Drive & Zane (right across from the Dairy Queen...and MORE slummy apartments)

Century Court Apartments, pre demolition *Photo courtesy of the City of Brooklyn Park*

Moonraker Apartments

Rocky Rococo sign

Another view of the townhomes

It's no surprise that White Castle survived

Godfathers Pizza sign

With Blondie's reputation, showing the UFC fight might not be a good idea. Recipe for trouble?

Another view of Blondie's

Yates & Brookdale Drive. More icky apartments tarnish the BP skyline

The garland around the Rosedale Commons sign is nice and all, but I'd prefer something a little more over-the-top/Clark Griswald-style myself.

On the surface, this place looks like every other strip mall out there. And it pretty much is, except for one thing. The “windows” function like garage-doors and open up in the summer, giving this place an open-air/lifestyle center-type feeling. Being that it opened in 1986, it was so ahead of its time…

Located right across the street from Rosedale Mall (the Twin Cities’ busiest mall, other than the Mall of America), Rosedale Commons is a pretty hoppin’ place. Having a gym and 2 restaurants (TGIFridays and Old Country Buffet)  help keep the crowds comin’.

Soon, this strip mall will lose its biggest store – Linens ‘N Things. Linens ‘N Things is closing all stores, and the Rosedale Commons location is no exception. How will we function without Linens N Things? Where will I buy my balsam & cedar decorative votives? How will I complete my Country Blue Ducks decor in my kitchen? I still need the matching lightswitch plate!

Next to Linens N Things is a Petsmart. Petsmart used to be a CompUSA, but again, the national chain closes up shop, and out of Rosedale Commons it goes. Maybe this place is cursed.

Linens N Things and Petsmart aren’t accessible from inside the mall. But the rest of the stores are. Let’s go inside!

Sunlight streams through the hallway of Rosedale Commons. Bring the sunscreen!

At the far end of the mall is a Wells Fargo and a GameStop. There used to be a Chinese Buffet here too. Probably went out of business because of the Old Country Buffet a few yards down the hall. There’s only so many buffets one strip mall can handle, you know.

Going further down the hallway is an abandoned Ulta store.  Ulta and all of their

This Ulta store is closed, but you can still get harassed for a "free" subscription to InStyle magazine when you visit their new location down the road.

uber-bitchy sales associates moved just down the road to the Crossroads Mall.  See you at the Crossroads!

Further down the hallway is Dena Marie Bridal and Tux. They’re always hauling out a bunch of misfit bridesmaid dresses on racks & having impromptu sidewalk sales. I guess that’s a good thing if you don’t mind having mismatched bridesmaid dresses at your wedding or if you’re in the market for a prom dress.

They also sell men’s tuxes and suits. Again, great for weddings and proms. This place is a madhouse around prom season. A bunch of 16-18 year old boys trying on $40 suits, acting like they’re hot shot businessmen CEO’s. Meh.

We’ve also got a Pearle Vision Center, Jenny Craig, Joann Fabrics, Urban Traveler, and a Juut Salon.

In the middle of the mall is a staircase leading to…THE BASEMENT. It’s not your typical creepy mall basement, like the one in Har Mar. The basement of this place has a women-only Lifetime Fitness and the mall office. It used to have a ballroom dance studio, but that closed a few years ago. Lifetime bought the space and expanded. Back when CompUSA was in this strip mall, the nerdy sales guys used to sneak down on their break and sit on the concrete steps to stare at the women working out. CREEPY. Lifetime has since blocked out the windows.

THE BASEMENT! Oooh SCARY!

I go to this Lifetime sometimes. I usually stick to the Lifetime closer to home, but every once in a while, I’ll go here for old time’s sake. I used to go here ALL.THE.TIME – they had some awesome classes here at one point in time (Tuesday 5:30PM step class, I miss you!!), but some of the instructors moved on or they moved the classes to a time when I cannot attend.  I’ve pretty much stopped going to the classes at Lifetime, so I go to the club by my house.  I’m going to the gym to run on the treadmill for an hour & listen to angry rap songs – any Lifetime will do. It’s actually much nicer facility too.

This is a very basic, bare-bones Lifetime. It’s basically cardio equipment, weight machines and some random group fitness classes.  If this is the main club you use, you’re probably better off getting a membership to Anytime Fitness for the price of this place. There is no pool, no snack bar, no rock climbing wall.  Just women and exercise equipment.

Back upstairs, a few more shops remain. A few places near the OCB wing of the mall closed.  Mega Media Xchange (aren’t they edgy, spelling their name with an X and all!?) – a place where you can sell back your used CDs, DVDs and video games. Looks like they moved all of their inventory over to

Mega Media Xchange - one of those places where you can trade in your entire DVD collection for a whopping 75 cents.

Blaine.  I doubt their Blaine location will stay in business very much longer either. These types of places are a dying breed. Soon, everything will be digital, and we won’t need to buy physical CDs and DVDs. These kinds of places attract those people who, in 2008, wave around their cell phone like it’s still a status symbol.

Why buy new when slightly used will do? Hmm...Tricky Dick's got me there. How can you argue with that?

Shinders closed too. The local porn peddler closed up shop in June 2007. Pretty sad — Shinders was the closest thing Roseville had to a Vegas-area brothel. The owner couldn’t afford to keep the stores operating — and along with that, he was facing drug charges.

Porn and drugs — not surprising. If he’s not in jail right now, you could probably find him blowing lines in the VIP room at Sheiks. Fuck, is there any Minnesota business owner who hasn’t had a brush with the law? Who’s next? My money’s on Dick Enrico. After all, he did that ad campaign with him looking like Baby Hitler…

Also on this end of the strip mall is an Oreck vacuum store. Vacuums are for losers. Real men and women use Roombas.

And then we come to the big daddy of Rosedale Commons. The Old Country Buffet. Yep, much like the Holly Center in Fridley, the Old Country Buffet is a big draw for this strip mall.

From their advertising and marketing, you’d think you were getting a homecooked meal from Ma at the farmhouse. In reality, you’re getting something more akin to what you’d find in a government-run cafeteria.

They have…

• A meat station with a guy slicing the delicate cuts of roast beef, turkey, and ham. I guess he’s supposed to be the
  

  If the Old Country Buffet closed, there'd be a line at Baker's Square at 3pm.

  chef. We’re supposed to believe that because he’s wearing a paper chef hat. Okay.

• A pasta station. Lots of noodles soaking in neon orange cheese.  You can usually find cold pizza, brittle mashed potatoes, and sometimes *gasp* a makeshift taco bar.
• A soda fountain with unlimited refills on various corn syrup drinks.  OCB doesn’t have a liquor license. They should get one – this place would be a trip if you were tipsy. Come to think of it, they should install TVs in here too.  Grandpa could sip a 7 & 7, gum on unlimited cinnamon rolls, and watch The Price is Right. What fun! But for now, bring a flask.
• A dessert bar with various confections that have all the delicacy of a Hostess pie.
• And the two decoys on which every buffet relies – a salad bar and a soft-serve ice cream station.

No matter how you decide to navigate the troughs, please, for the love of god, take a clean plate for every trip to the buffet. This isn’t a chuckwagon, you rouges!

I don't think this mall has enough rules. What's next, no open toed shoes

Oh – one last thing to mention – these signs are plastered all over this mall, and without it, there would be pure anarchy.  Don’t pretend you’re Tony Hawk! Don’t light up! No Amway fliers! No selling boy scout wreaths! No horseplay or doing any of that other shit here or you will find yourself singing show tunes in prison. Where’s our freedom of expression? It’s like a police state here!

Enjoy the rest of the photos! All photos taken December, 2008.

If you think this is going to be like a Vegas-style buffet, think again. Most Vegas buffets aren't that great anyway, but at least they have sad-sap gambling-style decor to look at and an on-site bookie.

Rosedale Commons Hallway

Dena Marie Bridal

Taffeta dresses, anyone?

Don't let that beautiful pyramid statue in front of the door fool you into thinking you'll find classic pieces of art inside Rosedale Commons. It's just an ashtray.

Linens N Things is going out of business. Why, it must be because of the SMOKING BAN. Isn't that what smokers always say whenever any business anywhere closes?

Going out of business

The Quarry's sign tempts passersby. They've got an OLD NAVY - you KNOW you want to stop!

I love The Quarry. I shop here regularly myself – I think I’m at the Target at least twice a week. Just because it isn’t a dumpy mall doesn’t mean I can’t cover it or poke fun. Let’s explore The Quarry, shall we?

A cute monument reminds shoppers to appreciate the fact that Famous Footwear and Office Max moved into the neighborhood. This place was once a real, live, disgusting ROCK QUARRY, you know. And who wants THAT in their backyard?

Located in Northeast Minneapolis off of 35W and Stinson Blvd, The Quarry was built in 1997. It was actually was a rock quarry at some point in time, hence the name. Hmph, if the Quarry was never built, perhaps they could’ve sent Tom Petters and other inmates (perhaps Denny Hecker?) to work on here on the chain gang?

The Quarry has decent stores, and I believe all have been there since the Quarry was built. For being 11 years old and having no turnover, it’s obvious the Quarry is a success. Lots of college students from the U live in this area, so you can’t walk two feet without seeing someone sporting a Gophers shirt.

Stores at the Quarry are:
Home Depot
Rainbow Foods
Famous Footwear
Office Max
Old Navy
Party City
Pet Smart
Target

Last time I checked, Old Navy was still selling Tek Vests

Another thing worth mentioning about the Quarry – for some reason, every time I go here (which is a LOT), there’s always a fire truck in the parking lot. I can’t figure out why that is? Are the performance fleece tops and the acrylic sweaters in the Old Navy store THAT flammable that they need the fire department on site 24/7? Fuck that, just let it burn! Then we can build some condos!!!!

Looks like Old Navy is knocking off Victoria's Secret PINK line. I think I like these better, since they don't have that stupid dog plastered all over them. WTF does a DOG have to do with lingerie, anyway?

DO NOT WANT

Sure, Performance Fleece is tacky and ugly, but I guess it's better than, say, Tim Pawlenty's hideous plaid shirts.

Sure, track suits are great for the gym, but I suggest getting a running skirt instead. It hides the camel toe.

I still don't understand why Old Navy insists on selling dog toys. I don't think your dog cares WHERE you get his toys from. After all, he drinks from the toilet..

After the bridge collapse (dammit, can’t Minnesota build ANYTHING right? I’m looking at you too, METRODOME!), a lot of Minneapolis residents had a very difficult time getting to The Quarry. If you lived south of the bridge collapse site and wanted to get to the Quarry, it wasn’t easy. You had to maneuver through back roads & side streets to get there and I heard it was a hassle. Hearing from friends in the area, a lot of them changed their shopping habits while the bridge was out. You know, someone could’ve made bank & capitalized on the situation by starting up a ferry service in Minneapolis…

Old Navy is ready for the holidays. Are you?

However, It didn’t seem like the Quarry businesses took a hit for the entire year that the bridge was out.  Though I did notice that for weekends immediately following the collapse, the Quarry was pretty dead – usually this place is hoppin’ on the weekends. People must’ve found alternative routes to the shopping center because it seemed to bounce back about a month or so following the collapse.

TCF Bank boasts of being open 7 days/week. WTF for? These days, you hardly need to step into a bank, with online banking and most banks having braches in a grocery store and everywhere else.

Did metal-eating slugs cause the bridge to collapse? Gusset plates? Gravity winning yet again? No. The bridge collapse was Kevin McHale’s fault. He trades away Kevin Garnett and the next day, the whole damn state falls apart! (Too soon for a bridge collapse joke…?) I don’t know about you, but it’s been well over a year since the collapse and we still hear the “ARE YOU DRIVING ACROSS A DEADLY ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN?? BRIDGES THAT KILL – NEXT, ON FOX9″ sensationalist stories about how every damn bridge in the state is a danger to society. THERE IS NO TIME!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

Anyway, enough about the bridge.

The Target store was remodeled this year.  It’s still just a regular “Target” store, not a SuperTarget. I liked how it looked before. Sweet, old skool TARGET:

The Quarry Target T1095 store, pre-remodel (July 2007)

And what it looks like now. All trendy and shit!

Returning items to Target is easy as pie. EATING pie, that is...Making it a pain in the ass!

Looking for Moschino? You be hard-presed to find that in Minneapolis, girl. BUT - you can get Mossimo at Target!

Spend too much time in this aisle and you'll end up looking like Mimi from The Drew Carey Show

Photos taken August 2008 and November 2008.

Once a month, nerds gather at the Mounds View Square for the baseball card show

The Mounds View Square strip mall isn’t all that exciting. However, once a month, this tiny strip center turns into a local nerdlair by hosting a sports cards/collectibles show. Lucky me, I visited at the right time!

I should’ve known, since the parking lot was packed for a strip mall of this size (and the fact that this center’s biggest store, Petters Warehouse, is now closed). Who knew sports cards & collectibles were still a big thing these days? Then again, we all know the old saying: “Cars depreciate, action figures appreciate!”

The Sports Cards & Collectibles store is ripe with nerds of all ages buying trading cards. After all, middle school...middle age...hey, ANYTIME is a great time to buy Magic the Gathering cards!

So, once a month, the trolls from Mom’s basement surface, bringing their valuable 1988 Topps Baseball card collection, their Starting Lineup figurines, comics in dust-proof mylar bags, and their 20-sided die (just in case a “Magic” game breaks out. You never know what kind of buffoonery will happen at the MV Sports Card show!) to set up shop at Mounds View Square.

Mounds View Square, during remodel *not my picture, found on a construction site*

Mounds View Square was remodeled in 2006. It used to be where you could walk inside entire mall. With the remodel, most of the interior hallway was demolished and now, most stores are only accessible through the outdoor entrance. The interior hallway is only about 5 stores in length, spanning from the Pink Flower Restaurant to the Petters Warehouse (the Petters Warehouse was not accessible from the interior; the hallway ends just before Petters). I’m not sure why they kept some of the hallway instead of demolishing all of it? Maybe the baseball card nerds had something to do with it? How else would they host the card shows? It’s not like they can move it outside. This is Minnesota; we can’t put that shit outdoors!

The Pink Flower restaurant probably gets lots of business from the sports card show customers. Hope they have lots of Mountain Dew on tap...

I went inside with the intention of snapping some photos, but the places was packed wall-to-wall with soft, doughy mama’s boys that look like a cross between the server admin at my office and Michael Moore. There really wasn’t much to take pictures of though & it was just so crowded in there that getting a decent shot of anything wouldn’t have been easy.

Plus, it had a funny smell in the hallway. It was probably a cross between all the people crowded into such a tiny hallway and the nearby thrift store (those places always have an odd smell).

So I just strolled on through and took in all the nerdiness. Overheard a few guys discuss their fantasy football teams. Fantasy football, whatever…Dude, if I’m looking to fantasize about football, I’d much rather think about Tom Brady’s butt or go play Madden than compile a load of statistics in Excel.

I’m sure there were some shady deals goin’ down too. Card shows are NOTORIOUS for that shit. Yep, think 40 year old dudes trying to hard sell an 8 year old kid some worthless Minnesota Twins cards – “Seriously, kiddo, this Denny Hocking rookie card is worth hundreds!! I have the internet quotes to prove it! And at $50, this card is a STEAL!”

And these “collectibles” shows aren’t complete without people trying to sell their Beanie Baby collections – “Contrary to what you might think, Beanie babies aren’t a waste of money! This collection is an INVESTMENT! Their value will appreciate! Let me show you a chart….”

If you ask me, Pink Flower is...a little too close to "Pink Taco"

Besides the baseball card shows, Mounds View Square’s focal point was the Petters Warehouse. Petters Warehouse closed in October 2008 after Tom Petters was charged with leading a large investment fraud scheme.

Now that Petters Warehouse is closed, where will I buy factory-second Levis and seperated lotion from?

Petters Warehouse was basically an “outlet” store, selling overstock, discontinued products, salvage merchandise, and customer returns. That said, you can imagine the junk you’d find in this store.

Now, to be fair, it wasn’t ALL junk. Petters Warehouse was one of those stores where it depended on what day you visited. Some days = junk. Other days = treasure. In my experience, it was mostly junk.

One time, I saw a boxes upon boxes of “Body Solutions, the Evening Weight Loss Formula.” Remember this shit?! Flashback to the early ’00s – every radio DJ in the Twin Cities hawked this snake oil shit! Lose weight while you sleep! Screw exercise! Fuck following healthy diet! Just drink a teaspoon of this magic liquid and watch the pounds melt away. If PAT EBERTZ was selling this crap, you know it didn’t work.  You’d probably be better off wrapping garbage bags around your body and sitting in a sauna for a few minutes than drinking this potion.

Ever dream of being a raccoon? Well, here's your chance! Dig through the trash they sell at Petters Warehouse.

They sold clothing here too. Mostly ugly stuff. Think orange waffle shirts from Kohls in odd sizes. Flannel shirts from Sears with one sleeve longer than the other. Machiavelli-Brand Tupac Jeans. Sweatshirts with thugged-out Looney Tunes characters. Nothing says “sophistication” better than getting your wardrobe from Petters Warehouse!

However, Petters Warehouse is closed for good since Mr. Petters is rotting in a jail cell, awaiting trial.

Instead of seeing this guy hobnob on Lake Minnetonka this summer, we can see him collect trash on I-94!

The rest of this strip mall contains an Anytime Fitness, a Dollar General, a nail salon, a tanning booth, a thrift store, a Cost Cutters, an Aldi, and a few other typical suburban strip mall places.

I also wanted to include the strip mall across the street – Silverview. It’s pretty much abandoned with the exception of a Curves. There really isn’t much to write about. I remember they used to have a Subway over there, but it moved over to the newer strip center near the Wynnsong movie theater.

The Silverview strip mall. A textbook example of a dumpy strip mall

Another view of the Silverview strip mall

]]> http://dumpystripmalls.com/2008/11/23/mounds-view-square-mounds-view-mn/feed/ 6 http://dumpystripmalls.com/2008/11/18/springbrook-mall-coon-rapids-mn/ http://dumpystripmalls.com/2008/11/18/springbrook-mall-coon-rapids-mn/#comments Tue, 18 Nov 2008 20:09:17 +0000 dumpystripmall http://dumpystripmalls.wordpress.com/?p=150 I’m going to be very honest with you. I don’t know why I am writing about this place. There isn’t much here *to* write about. It’s just your run-of-mill strip center with a few vacancies, forgettable tenants such as a tobacco shop, a Great Clips, and a big box anchor to hold down the fort.

See what I mean? Nothing to see here...except some grass that needs mowing

But this little place holds a special place in my heart (and perhaps those of you who grew up around here) for ONE reason:

The old SPRINGBROOK 4 second-run movie theater!

Yeah, my parents were cheap. Even in the ’80s and ’90s, taking a family of 5 to the movies wasn’t easy on the pocketbook. In fact, our trips to a “real” movie theater were so isolated that I can name every movie we saw: ET, Jurassic Park, and Pinocchio (I know, WTF, right? I “get” ET and Jurassic Park but Pinocchio? Way to be random, mom!). Hey, I don’t blame them. I rarely see a movie in a theater these days anyway, and it’s mostly due to the price. I don’t know of any second-run movie theaters still around, except for that hellhole in Brooklyn Center.

So if we went to the movies, it was at a second-run theater – either the Springbrook 4 or the Terrace Theater in Robbinsdale (closed as well). On Friday and Saturday nights, this place would be PACKED. The lines would be wrapped around the building with thrifty people to see Wayne’s World four months after it was originally released for only $1. Schwing!

The Springbrook 4 opened in 1990 and closed in 2000. Perhaps their employees just couldn’t take all those annoying people walking out of the theaters & quoting lines from popular movies that have already assimilated their way into pop culture months ago.  Can you imagine if this place was still around when Napoleon Dynamite came out? I can hear the never-ending citations now – “Your mom went to college!” “Vote for Pedro!” “I caught you a delicious bass” “Don’t be jealous that I’ve been chatting online with babes all day”.

*HEAD EXPLODES* Those poor, poor employees.

Or maybe it was the competition from the shiny new Kerasotes 16 theater that opened in late 1997 that put the nail in the coffin? The Kerasotes 16 opening was a BIG DEAL back in the day. It had – get this – STADIUM SEATING! What a concept! If you’re a “shawty” like me, going to the movies always meant wringing your hands with worry that Sasquatch would plop his rump down in the seat in front of you and block your view. Now that stadium seating is the industry standard, the fucking GREEN GIANT could sit down in front of me and I’d still get to see High School Musical 3 in all of its beautiful cinematographic glory. Well, I’m not sure if that’s such a good thing. I think I’d rather watch the brussel sprouts grow out of the back of the Green Giant’s head than watch Zac Efron and Ashley Tisdale yodel peppy songs and do the jitterbug in front of a bunch of lockers. These days, Kerasotes 16 is kind of a dump.

Today, the Springbrook 4 is now part of a Sears Outlet.

Sears Outlet - this section of the strip mall is where the Springbrook 4 Theater was located

Sears Outlet moved from its former location in Fridley, off of Moore Lake Road. Not sure when that happened, must’ve been sometime this decade. The old Sears Outlet location turned into a Petters Warehouse (or should I say “Front for a Ponzi Scheme”? tsk, tsk…) for a while, but it moved over to a strip mall in Moundsview. Now it’s some “Great Deals” place that’s open like every third Thursday of the month or something incredibly inconvenient.

Tom Petters, center. Those sawed-off little guys are ALWAYS trouble! (photo from StarTribune)

HOWEVER – I’m veering from the topic of this post. I’ll cover the closed Petters Warehouse store when I write about the Moundsview strip mall in which it was located.

Walk into Sears Outlet and you'll probably find remnants of the VCR age

I didn’t venture inside of Sears Outlet. I only hope that this new location is a bit more organized and clean than it was when it was over in Fridley.  That place was a fucking mess, especially the electronics section (its biggest draw).  Think extension cords strewn about the aisles, exposed electrical wire half on the spool, and refurbished decade-old electronics with half of the parts missing.

But of COURSE there's retail space available! A strip mall isn't a strip mall without an empty storefront these days

Target Store #T-820.

Target Greatland opened in July 1992. Store # T-820.  Yeah, I used to work for Target. I know this stuff. You don’t see too many Target Greatlands these days; most have been converted into SuperTargets.

Red and green awnings give the Springbrook Mall a year-round holiday ambiance. I bet Gentle Dentistry has some KILLER Black Friday specials...

Another former tenant worth mentioning is Autofun, which opened in 1998 and closed in 2001. This store specialized in aftermarket car accessories and was located near the Springbrook 4 end of the strip mall, though I can’t quite remember its exact location. You could find anything from musical sun visors to Elmer Fudd mudflaps to sub woofers in that store. According to a friend of mine (a former employee), it went under because the business model was dependent on having multiple stores, due to buying power. The financial backers pulled out before they expanded the company. They were very similar to Best Buy (in fact, the owner of Autofun was one of Best Buy’s founders) in terms of selling product at low prices, which could only work if you purchased in huge bulk to drop the price per unit.  Since they only had one store, it was a loss with almost any product sold.  Their original intent was to open 20+ stores within 6 months of opening, which would have dramatically lowered the price per unit since they would have been buying 20 times more than they were.

The colorful flags tell me there's a PARTY inside of the China King Buffet! Why, I bet it's booze-fueled sex romp where anything goes! Party up in here! I wonder if the DJ will play "Willennium" if I ask nicely?

The rest of the stores aren’t really worth mentioning. There used to be a Goodwill in this shopping center, but I believe it closed in late 2005 or early 2006.

Even though video rental stores seem to be phasing out, I doubt this Blockbuster Video will go out of business anytime soon. Remember, this *is* Coon Rapids & there are a bunch of people still stuck in the '80s.

There’s a few places that exist right around the Springbrook Mall. There’s a Blockbuster Video, Payless Shoes, Panera Bread, Caribou Coffe, and a Half Price Books. And of course, the biggest draw if you have a discerning taste for soggy seafood – Red Lobster.

The only thing this place has going for it is its cheesy biscuits

All photos were taken in August, 2008.

I apologize for the lack of updates in the past few months. Finding time to write has been pretty difficult these last few months, but I promise you, I’ve got lots of good stuff coming up! I’ve taken a bunch of pictures of local shopping centers, but I haven’t had the chance to write the blog posts yet.

I’m currently working on posts for the Rosedale Mall (no, not a “dumpy mall” by any means, but it’s a mall in MN, so it must be covered!) and (by popular request!) the defunct Village North Shopping Center in Brooklyn Park, MN.

I’ve been putting off writing the Village North post because I’ve been trying to locate pictures of the now-demolished shopping center, and I’ve come up with exactly ZERO. I even went through old photo albums at my parents’ house, just in case, and, yep – NONE. If you have any pictures, PLEASE send them my way. I’ve had so many requests to do a write-up on this shopping center that I know a lot of people would be thrilled to see them! I’ll be posting it without pics, but if anyone has any, please send them my way.

Researching shopping centers is not an easy thing to do – there’s not a whole lot of information out there, even at the libraries! So, I need your help…

Here’s what’s upcoming that I need a little help with – these are the places I’ve had requests for, but I just don’t have enough information to go on.  Of course, pictures – especially anything “old” -  are ALWAYS welcome!

* Crossroads Center in Roseville: Pics and info pre-renovation?
* All those old, abandoned industrial buildings in Roseville, right off of 35W: Why is this area all abandoned? Tenants? Etc?
* Eden Prairie Center: Pics and info pre-renovation?
* Woodbury’s old outlet mall: Name of the actual mall? Tenants? When/Why was it demolished? Anything else?
* Four Seasons Mall, Plymouth MN: Any idea of old tenants?
* A strip mall off of Silver Lake Road-New Brighton. Had a Lunds that closed in 1999. Mall was demolished in 2006 & there’s now an LA Fitness, Subway, medical center, etc – any info of the old strip mall would be helpful, especially its actual NAME!
* Anoka’s Downtown: Any info?

If you have any info, please post to the comments or shoot me an email.

Thanks to those of you who’ve emailed me/posted comments – your information is very helpful!

A new blog post will be up later this week, so check back soon!