Archive for June, 2009

Baker's Square: Maple Grove, MN

Jun 30

Posted by dumpystripmall in Maple Grove | 15 Comments

Like Grandma always said, “Keep your fork, there’s pie!”

Okay, so that’s not the official slogan of Baker’s Square — it’s “Come for the food, stay for the pie”. Close enough though. Personally, I’d rather just come for that 3,000-calorie slice of pie & scoop of ice cream that will surely lead me down the path of bedridden obesity, and pass on the food, but that’s just me.

Keep your fork, there's pie!

Welcome to Baker’s Square, a restaurant chain serving all-day breakfast entrees, inoffensive continental cuisine, burnt coffee, and sweets that go straight to your ass. And lots and lots of French Silk Pie.

The Baker’s Square restaurant chain is still alive ‘n kickin’ in Minnesota, but only a handful of locations remain. Many locations, including Maple Grove, were wiped out in the Great Bakers Square-icide of April 2008. (Those locations were Plymouth, St. Anthony, Maplewood, Minnetonka, Burnsville, one in Minneapolis, and one in St. Paul).

Bakers Square closed early, probably keeping a lot of riff-raff out of the restaurant

Okay, so a random chain restaurant closes in the suburbs — big whoop, right? Yeah, I know…not very interesting. But by golly, I just like taking pictures of abandoned buildings and writing blog posts about said abandoned building. I’m no photographer (as evidenced by the shitty photos on this blog), so I’m not going with an artsy angle here. Just a post about a ho-hum suburban chain restaurant that I haven’t eaten at in years. I can’t really say I’m shedding tears over this one.

I’m sure Grandma is though!

Baker’s Square is the local elderly hangout. Whether it’s a gathering place to shoot the shit before hitting up the Kohls Early Bird specials, or the spot of a Grand Casino after-party, Midwestern old fogies love this place, my grandma included. When my parents would take us to Grandma’s house, Grandma would always want to come here. She’d gather up her pie tins (grandma always saved the pie tins. She’d get a whole quarter every time we’d go here), and squeal, “POPPIN’ FRESH!!! POPPIN’ FRESH!!! POPPIN’ FRESH!!” (even though this place dropped the Poppin’ Fresh name years ago) and would practically wet herself on the drive over, just thinking of the pies.

Bakers Square

Prior to 1983, Baker’s Square was known as Poppin’ Fresh. You’d think that after all this time, people would call this place by its correct name, but no. The elderly crowd this place caters to keeps the Poppin’ Fresh name alive. Oh fiddlesticks, I shouldn’t talk — I’m sure in 30 years, some young whippersnapper will poke fun at me for calling US Bank “First Bank” and referring to Macy’s as Daytons and saying stuff like, “Back in my day, Wells Fargo was Norwest Bank!!! Their logo was a giant green “N”!!!” *waves cane*

Most of the Baker’s Square locations are or were in need of a major renovation. It looked like you were dining at Grandma’s house, with the fluffy window valances, stain-concealing carpet, country floral wallpaper and matching border, all in the Baker’s Square-signature cranberry red and seagrass green color accents. Ho-hum.

You can still see the decor through the window

The food wasn’t anything to write home about either, but your Grandma probably raves about it. Lackluster comfort food and an anytime-breakfast menu is how Baker’s Square rolls — it’s the stuff you crave when it’s 2 below and you want to eat something that requires elastic waist pants (luckily, most of their regulars are people who already rock the elastic waist pants, so no wardrobe change is necessary for most patrons). The elderly-friendly menu consists of breaded chicken patties, BLTs, meatloaf, onion rings, chicken fried steak, rice pudding, pot pies– all assuring that critical bowel movement later on in the day.

So yeah — starchy, simple meals that can be gummed easily by Grandpa. And pie. Can’t forgot that pie. But really, when do you ever eat a meal at Baker’s Square? I honestly can’t remember the last time I ate here. My friends and I used to rock Perkins or Denny’s HARRRDD when we were in high school. But Bakers Square closed at like 10 or 11PM — far too early for our 1AM dinner parties, so they lost out on the teen demographic and just went after Grandma. Too bad — we’d eat ourselves sick at these places, running up a huge tab chowing down high fat trucker-style breakfast food and greasy appetizer samplers right before going to bed. How I escaped my teenage years without blowing up like a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon is beyond me.

The free WiFi (Wi-Pie. I stand corrected) gives Grandma another opportunity to check her email and clog your inbox with more chain-letter email forwards.

I used to come here to pick up a pie to bring up to my parents’ house for Christmas dinner. Baker’s Square took holidays seriously. On any major pie holiday (Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas), they’d have a pie hostess sitting at a card table in the lobby, taking orders and giving you a slip of paper to claim your pie. She’d pass on your order to some hotshot manager wearing a headset and he’d fetch your pie from the fridge, and update the inventory tally. It was quite the production! With the Maple Grove Baker’s Square location closed, our Christmas dinner will forever be without a Baker’s Square pie but really, with a little effort, you could probably make a better pie at home. Especially the French Silk — probably Baker’s Square’s most popular pie.

French Silk Pie is not that difficult to make. Buy a pie crust at Cub, whip up some instant Jell-O chocolate pudding, pour into the crust, and cover in Redi-Whip. Done and DONE. If you’re feeling really adventurous, toss a Hershey’s bar in the SlapChop and sprinkle the shavings on top. Want to make the Candy Cane Christmas pie? Follow the same steps for the French Silk pie, and cut up some candy canes. BINGO – Christmas Pie!

I do miss the Fresh Strawberry pie (seasonal). That fucker was a pie I’d die for.

And I’m willing to bet the Baker’s Square pies were not made fresh, on-site. Probably trucked in from Jersey or something.

I’m not sure if Baker’s Square will last in Minnesota — with all the recent closings, it doesn’t look good. All of these breakfast places pretty much offer the same thing, but I think Perkins does it best. They’re open 24/7 AND they have a wishing well. (just don’t go there on the “Kids Eat Free Tuesdays” — the entire restaurant turns into one loud juice box-flingin’ family section). Denny’s had the silly-named menu items but other than that, it doesn’t do much for me.

And Bakers Square has the pie.

So keep your fork.

Photos taken June 2009

Baker's Square

Tags: abandoned buildings, chain restaurants, dessert, grandma, pie, restaurants

Abandoned Target Store: Coon Rapids, MN

Jun 4

Posted by dumpystripmall in Coon Rapids | 21 Comments

I love Target way more than anyone should. I’m 100% Minnesotan and Target is in my blood. I do all my grocery shopping at Super T and I’m probably there twice a week. I even loved Target as a kid. Going to Target was much more special to me than going to Kmart, even though they sold the same thing. I much preferred getting my Barbie dolls, My Little Ponies, and coloring books from Target than Kmart. We didn’t have a Target store in Brooklyn Park/Center until 1986, so prior to that, we always had to shop at the Crystal Target. When I grew up, I got a job my senior year in high school as a Target cashier and worked my way into HQ & ended up working for the company for 7 years.

The solution is easy. Buy this Target store and bulldoze it. Hold on to the land until they decide to build a Cheesecake Factory next door (hope you're patient, it might be a while). Then, sell the property for millions! It's simple, really.

So, back in 1998, I heard it through the company grapevine that the Coon Rapids Blvd (store T-42) was closing, and I got a little teary-eyed. I didn’t frequent this store, but I did shop here once in a while. Prior to this, I had never heard of a Target store in Minnesota closing!

They didn’t arbitrarily chose to close this store to meet numbers or whatever. There was a rhyme to the reason they were shuttin’ this store down. And that reason was Riverdale, the latest and greatest North Suburban retail hotspot for the new millennium.

Riverdale is the reason why, 11 years later, the entire northern corridor of Coon Rapids Blvd looks like Chernobyl. This empty Target store is just one of many abandoned retail establishments along the Coon Rapids Boulevard of broken dreams.

The Coon Rapids store closed in the fall of 1998. At the time, Riverdale was newborn retail center, only consisting of a Rainbow Foods, a Green Mill, a Hollywood Video, a Panera Bread, and of course, a Target store. They area was very underdeveloped at the time, but big plans were in place for this new area dubbed “Riverdale.” It was going to be the next big thing for North Suburban retail and rather than give this store a makeover, they threw up a Target Greatland in the nearby Riverdale area and eventually closed old T-42. This also happened to the Rainbow Foods (where the Big Lots is now). Can’t say I miss that Rainbow store. It was one of the most incredibly disgusting grocery stores I’ve ever been in, ranking right up there with that Columbia Heights Rainbow Foods pigsty. I remember going in there, looking for O’Boises chips and walking out empty-handed (so disgusted I couldn’t purchase a sealed bag of potato chips) and feeling like I needed to take a shower.

: Old Target stores all had a distinct architectural look. Without me telling you this was a Target, you could probably figure that out on your own, you smart cookie, you!

This was a pretty rough-looking Target store anyway. This was store # T-42, and judging by its low store number, it likely opened in the late 1960’s or early 70’s and never had a remodel. This particular store was a good example of a Tar-GHETTO, not a Tar-jay. The former Target store (T-180) off of West Broadway in North Minneapolis was an even better example…that was a Target experience like no other!

The Coon Rapids Blvd/Crooked Lake store is from a lost era of Target. Even in ‘98, this store felt decrepit and passe. This store was from the pre-hipster days of Target. It’s from a time when Target sold only Cherokee, Chic Jeans, ProSpirit, and Honors. The popcorn smell from Food Avenue hit you the minute you walked in and wafted throughout the store. They had paper gift certificates. McGlynn’s bakeries were inside the stores instead of Starbucks & you could watch the bakers decorate cakes and cookies. They placed individual price stickers on all of their items. You could buy computers, cigarettes, and the StarTribune. They had an intercom up at the service desk and parents would request help from employees to round up their missing kids. SuperTargets were just being introduced (in 1995) and still very much a rarity and only found in Utah and Iowa. Target still put out a garden center every spring. You could get cash for returning things without a receipt. The checkout lanes had aluminum hand railings, and as kids, my brother and I would treat them as a jungle gym and climb all over the bars while Mom checked out, until the cashier yelled at us to stop monkeying around.

An old Target price tag

These things, for the most part, are all gone from today’s Target. McGlynn’s is plum out of business. Food Avenue (Food Express in some stores) has been replaced by a Pizza Hut/Taco Bell Express fusion. They don’t use the intercom system anymore. You can’t go five miles without finding a SuperTarget, and come hell or highwater, you will NOT be getting cash back if you don’t cough up your receipt.

Target was always considered more upscale than other discount mass merchandisers, but it pushed itself to a new level of chic with the introduction of the Michael Graves housewares collection, Caphalon cookware, and Mossimo clothing in 1999ish. Today’s Target sells Xhilaration, Converse, Menora, Mossimo, up-and-coming designer clothes made specifically for the store, and $80 100% cashmere sweaters. Sure, you can still find Cherokee and Honors clothing (ProSpirit is gone and Chic Jeans can be found at Fleet Farm if you really want them), but it’s not as prevalent as it once was.

Big Lots used to be Rainbow Foods.

Back in the day, Target selling food was a weird thing. Nowadays, every Target store — SuperTarget or not — has a mini grocery store inside of it. But back then, the only food you could buy at Target was candy, soda, and crackers.

Today, there’s a Goodwill store taking up part of the Target store’s old space — this is the new location of the Goodwill that was in the Springbrook Mall. There’s also a Big Lots. Oh joy.

The Firestone tire place is still kickin’ and the Arby’s is still here. The White Castle is boarded up and I believe there also was a Ground Round restaurant near the Target premises that burned down many, many years ago.

When I was up in this area to take pictures, I was quite surprised that the Target store was still standing. It’s been 11 years since it closed – you’d think the city would’ve razed it by now. The likelihood of retail redevelopment plans for this spot are pretty slim, since Riverdale gets all the shopping traffic.And what retailer in their right mind would want to be situated across from the fucking Coon Rapids Family Center Mall??

This entire area of Coon Rapids is absolutely depressing and miserable. It’s dirty, unkempt, empty buildings everywhere…and come nightfall, it’s very spooky. It’s like a mini Detroit, minus the automobile plants and Eminem. But go a few files up to Round Lake Blvd and everything changes into a bright, overdeveloped, sprawling shopping mecca. I’m not sure what the plans are for this area – if there are any. It’s been a hole for quite sometime, even pre-Riverdale days.

STOP!

All pictures of the outside were taken May 2009.

But I also have interior pics! YAY.

The interior pics are all screenshots taken from clips of the 1991 movie Career Opportunities. I picked out the best screencaps of the store from the movie, so you don’t have to comb through a bunch of video clips from this shitty movie. These pics are not from the Coon Rapids store, however, the CR Target floorplan CR was the exact same style as in the movie, so it probably didn’t vary much from these pictures. If you shopped at Target in the ’80s and ’90s, these screenshots will bring you back! It’s interesting to see what it used to look like – it almost looks like how Kmart looks today.

Enjoy all of the photos!

A typical interior of a Target store in the 80's and 90's

Another view of an old skool Target

The tape cassette display at Target. Holy FLASHBACK! I remember searching through these, looking for New Kids on the Block's Funky Funky Christmas!

The cassette display at Target. Holy FLASHBACK! I remember searching through these, looking for New Kids on the Block's Funky Funky Christmas at the Brooklyn Center store

This is how Target used to display CDs. (Yes, that's Jennifer Connelly)

This is how Target used to display CDs. (Yes, boys, that's Jennifer Connelly)

Old style Target checkout lanes

Target Food Avenue looks like a hospital cafeteria

Target Food Avenue looked like a stark hospital cafeteria

How the housewares section looked in the '80s and '90s. Those lamps are so fugly

Vintage Target service desk!

: Looking out from the Target parking lot, you can see Firestone

The bright lights of a Target parking lot spotlight.

All boarded up

I'm guessing this fenced off area was for the garden center.

I think it would be kind of creepy living across the street from an abandoned Target store.

The Goodwill is tacked on to the Target store. What used to be here, if anything? You'd think the GW would just take over the Target store, unless there was something here I don't remember

Target Store #42: Staying spooky since '98

For being abandoned for 11 years, this place has held up pretty well.

The nearby abandoned White Castle - just another Riverdale casuality.

Tags: 1990s, abandoned buildings, Big Lots, Coon Rapids, Goodwill, Jennifer Connelly, McGlynn's bakeries, Target, White Castle

Fridley Crabhouse (Shorewood Restaurant): Fridley, MN

Jun 3

Posted by dumpystripmall in Fridley | 5 Comments

A weedy, reedy swamp and a rusty highway rail complete the picturesque view of the Fridley Crab House

Welcome to the Fridley Crab House Music Cafe — Fridley’s mistake by the lake.

First off, being that it’s a shabby-looking CRAB house, I suppose you’re waiting for me to roll off a bunch of STD jokes about creepy-crawly creatures feasting on someone’s diseased groin. Aww, c’mon, that’s just too easy and cliched. STD jokes about a crabhouse are very “…what’s the deal with airline food? And Grape Nuts? There are no grapes or nuts…what gives?”, ya know?

Anyway, this joint opened in 1968 as the Shorewood Restaurant. It stayed as the Shorewood Restaurant until sometime in the early ’00s. It was bought out by (I’m assuming…) the same people who own the St. Croix Crab House Music Cafe. Damn, that’s a mouthful.

Even when this place was in business, the outside always looked like Red Lobster’s sad sack cousin. (And if you’re like me and not a fan of Ol’ Red, that’s not saying much). It had the same type of cliched seafood restaurant outdoor decor – nautical ropes, sawed-off wooden stumps, and a counterfeit dock for a walkway.

The Crabby House

It did have one thing going for it that most Red Lobsters don’t: It was next to a body of water, almost giving the impression that the fish they serve is caught fresh near the premises. Thank goodness it’s not – no way in hell I’d want to eat anything caught out of Moore Lake. I do see people fishing here, quite often actually. What the heck are they catching, carp? Bullheads? Geese droppings? It can’t be anything worth frying up; I don’t think Moore Lake is stocked with walleye.

Door's open

Anyway, this joint tries to pass as some seaside boardwalk cafe in a lazy beach town serving today’s catch. In reality it’s a smokey dive bar with a shitty live band, serving processed seafood & low-grade crab meat trucked in from 2000+ miles away, surrounded by a parking lot filled with cigarette butts, all while overlooking a swamp in an inner-ring Minneapolis suburb.

A SIGN that the Shorewood restaurant was once here. Unfortunatly, some careless driver rammed it into the tree.

Now, to be fair, I only ate here once a few years ago (when it was the Fridley Crab House) and never returned. Once was ENOUGH. I heard that it was better when it was the Shorewood Restaurant, but I never had the chance to visit. I went with a friend who had a craving for seafood, and since she lived close by, we decided to give this place a shot. After all, how bad could it be?

Yetch. If you think the outside looks shoddy, the inside was just as lovely. It had a dark and smokey (this was pre-smoking ban days) atmosphere, wobbly tables, cracked vinyl booths, a scratched-up dance floor, and had all the town drunks lined up at the bar crying in their beer — the Oceanaire, this ain’t.

Now, I’m not a huge seafood fan. I’ll eat it, but I don’t seek it out on a regular basis. So I can’t speak to the crab, but I’m guessing they didn’t serve the stuff they net on The Deadliest Catch. And the fresh salmon they advertised was probably not wrestled from the paws of baby grizzlies. I’m sure it was all trucked in, Sysco-style.

I remember the hostess seemed to have an attitude and our server looked like she just rolled out of bed. We should’ve left right there, but we pressed on and ordered cheap happy hour well drinks and appetizers. I think I had the walleye fingers or something. I wasn’t impressed because all I could taste was the breading. We also ordered onion rings that were dripping in grease. The drinks were served in spotty glasses and were very weak – not that I was looking to get twisted up in that bitch (though it would’ve taken the edge off dining in this hellhole) – but if I wanted a glass of melting ice cubes with a splash of soda, I would’ve ordered a diet coke, not a Cap’n Diet.

: Something FISHY is going on at the Crab House…

They did have live music here, but we ate here too early in the evening to experience this. I can only imagine that once the band starts up, the shit starts goin’ down. The alcohol gets flowin’, the men start mackin’ on the hussies, and next thing you know it, you’re either walking out with a black eye or the girl. This hole-in-the-wall looked like it could get pretty damn wild. It’s one of those places that by closing time, a dozen chairs have been thrown, a few tables tipped over, and every once in a while, the fuzz shows up to break up a brawl.

As expected, the bathrooms were gross. The walls looked like they had 30 coats of paint and the locks on the majority of the stalls were broken. They also had an outdoor patio — you know, so you could enjoy the scenic view of the marsh, watch horseflies crawl all over your popcorn shrimp, puff on a Winston, and get eaten alive by blood-thirsty mosquitoes.

The crab house closed sometime in the fall of 2008. I believe it was because the owner was/is facing tax evasion charges, not because of the shitty service and food. As of today, something’s up at the Crab House. It looks like someone bought this place, though this cannot be confirmed at press time. If this is so, I do hope the new owners gut the inside (looks like they’ve already begun), give the exterior a new coat of paint, and re-pave the parking lot. This place probably could be a fun hangout spot, if done right.

Photos taken May 2009.

Moore Lake "Beach"

See what I mean? This city has a MAJOR geese problem

Tags: bars, crabs, dive bars, fish, Fridley, geese, Red Lobster, restaurants, seafood

Gasoline Alley: Blaine, MN

Jun 1

Posted by dumpystripmall in Blaine | 13 Comments

Let’s face it, when you’re 12 years old, you have a lot of stress in your life. Your report on “The Voyage of the Mimi” is due on Wednesday. On Thursday, they’re separating the boys and girls to teach us about public hair and penises – OMG how embarrassing! You still have to hit up a few houses in the neighborhood to sell pricey gift wrap for the school FUNdraiser (vinyl duffel bag, you will be mine!). And on top of all that, during computer lab time, your classmate Jessica died of dysentery in Oregon Trail. …Meh, she was a bitch. More food for the rest of us! *presses space bar to continue”

Gasoline Alley!

‘Ya gotta have a way to blow off that steam and during trying times like these, swinging from the monkey bars and playing tag just won’t cut it. Going for a long drive to clear your head would be ideal but you’re still three years away from your learner’s permit. What else could you do to ease your troubles? Badger your parents to take you to Gasoline Alley!

: This place just looks creepy now

Located in Blaine off of Highway 65 next to a trailer park community, Gasoline Alley was one of those mini amusement parks with go-karts, mini golf, bumper boats, and an arcade. It’s the kind of place where a kid could be a kid (the same could be said about Vegas, but I digress). These types of mini family fun rec areas were pretty popular in the ‘80s and ‘90s, but you really don’t see these places around much anymore. Lilliputt is still in business, but whenever I drive by the place, it’s empty. What, kids these days would rather play Mario Kart or mini golf on the WII? The WII is great and all but nothing can beat planning your perfect hole-in-one shot by aiming your dirty neon orange golf ball at a fiberglass rhino’s tusk…have it ricochet off the wall and go through the windmill tunnel and into the hole…only to have your whole strategy foiled by a ruptured seam in the Astroturf. Seams don’t happen on a WII.

I don’t know when this place closed. Looking at it now, the place just looks spooky but back in its glory days, Gasoline Alley (much like Skateland) was a big elementary/middle school birthday party and field trip destination in the ‘80s and ‘90s.

We didn’t get to go to Gasoline Alley as much as we went to LilliPutt. It was either because LilliPutt was closer and/or Gasoline Alley was too expensive. Both amusement centers offered the same attractions, but Gasoline Alley was bigger and known for its go-kart track (though calling itself an “international raceway” is a bit of a stretch). Looking at it through adult eyes, it looks awfully lame. I couldn’t tell where the bumper boats used to be, the go kart track looks tiny, and the either they removed all the giant mini golf statues (except the windmill) or Gasoline Alley took a minimalist approach to mini golf and didn’t have any fiberglass animals. What’s the point of playing mini golf without a plastic yellow hippo giving you the stinkeye as you putt for par on hole #14?

Usually when my brother would pester Mom to bring him here, she would usually tell him no and to go ride his Big Wheel or play with his Micro Machines instead. On those rare occasions (i.e. his birthday) when my parents actually would bring my brother here (and a bunch of his friends), I would always tag along. I didn’t care much for go-karts, but like any kid, I did enjoy a game of mini golf (it really helped my short game!) or bumper boats to pass the time.

Gasoline Alley provided golden opportunities to bring out the wild child in any well-behaved kid. On the track, my brother would always try to side-swipe his buddy’s car to thwart him from winning the race. Out on the high seas of the bumper boat lagoon, I’d always try to ram my watercraft (which looked like an inflatable inner tube with a steering wheel & a cheap trolling motor) into some random unsuspecting stranger’s vessel and give them whiplash.

No need to sneer at me, you crybaby! Tough shit. This is bumper boats, not the fucking lazy river. Pushing and shoving with a side of whiplash is to be expected.

Trouble didn’t take a holiday on the links either. Kids have a short attention span, and after about 12 holes of putt-putt, let’s face it, you get bored and all the holes start looking the same (that’s what she said?) One hole has a slight hill and a giant spider. The next has a giant rocks that are supposed to resemble landmines and a water hazard to the right. Rinse and repeat. There’s only so many times you can get your ball stuck in a tube that’s filled with dead leaves and candy wrappers before you get frustrated. So it was around this point in the course where hitting the fiberglass tiger square in the eye with your golf ball was much more entertaining than actually trying to make par on the hole and pencil in a decent score.

The windmill was the only mini golf statue left behind

But even that got boring after a while. Sure, the loud “ping” the ball made when it hit the statue was a riot, but sometimes, you need to cause a little more mischief. If you wanted to add insult to injury to the helpless synthetic beast, you could reach in your pocket and pull out anything with a sharp edge (utility knife, an well-worn slap bracelet, a fork) and carve an “I love Brian!” tattoo on the unfortunate tiger’s cheek. So many of the fiberglass monuments had innocent teenage graffiti on their plastic bodies and unfortunately, I admit to doing this once (sorry, I don’t know if it was at Gasoline Alley or at Lilli Putt).

Whatever. The fucker was looking at me funny. He deserved it. Besides, he looked like a kill-azz muthafucka with my wicked ink job.

Back in the day, this place was infested with kids

So, what about the go-kart track? Well, looking at it now, it doesn’t look like anything special. Calling itself an “International Raceway” is a bit misleading – this isn’t the Indy 500. It’s just another loud and annoying go-kart track filled with screaming kids and mid-life crisis dads who wanting to take a quick break from their giant SUV with ample seating and an excellent safety rating and pretend to be Jeff Gordan for a few short minutes. The course itself looks like it had a slight hill to it, with lots hairpin turns allowing for chain-reaction braking and no acceleration lanes – what, did MNDOT design the track?

: A view of the building

Gasoline Alley had an arcade so when you’ve had enough racing, bumper boating, and destroying the landscaping around the mini golf course, you could try to play some video games and hope they didn’t eat your quarters. The game room was pretty decrepit and had outdated games like Burger Time and shitty crap like a Love Calculator. On the arcade games that worked, you’d have to be a very good player to beat the computer; not because the artificial intelligence was set for super hard, but because your character was constantly walking to the right when you clearly were thrusting the sticky joystick to the left. And the “A” button had a coating of dried up soda all over it.

A view of the finish line. If Gasoline Alley was around today, I'd come here and coast into the finish line, step out of my ride, rip my helmet off and shake out my hair, just like Danica Patrick.

They also had a snack bar that had the shittiest food known to man. Yeah, I know, it’s a kiddie amusement park, so you can’t expect gourmet food, but the overpriced grub here was worse than SuperAmerica food. Decade-old wrinkled hot dogs on spinning on rollers, Totinos Party Pizzas cooked in a microwave, and a dessert cooler filled Flintstone Push Up Pops, Chipwiches, and those chocolate malt cups with the little wooden paddle spoon.

Okay, I admit, those desserts are pretty good…I could really go for a Chipwich right now.

Another pic of Gasoline Alley

Any memories of Gasoline Alley? Share in the comments!

Photos taken May 2009.

Tags: 1980s, 1990s, abandoned buildings, amusement parks, bumper boats, field trips, go-karts, junior high memories, mini golf

A tongue-in-cheek look at Minnesotas dead malls and other retail establishments

Archive for June, 2009

Baker's Square: Maple Grove, MN

Abandoned Target Store: Coon Rapids, MN

Fridley Crabhouse (Shorewood Restaurant): Fridley, MN

Gasoline Alley: Blaine, MN

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