Archive for January, 2009

Fuddruckers & Bennigans: St. Louis Park, MN

Jan 23

Posted by dumpystripmall in St. Louis Park | 6 Comments

I don’t like Fuddruckers. I can spew vile towards this restaurant chain like nobody’s business. But much like a crack addict twitching on the corner, I find myself returning on occasion – usually under extreme protest and a gun held to my head — translation: I am going here because of an obligatory work function.

Birthdays, new employee welcome lunches, promotion celebrations, Mardi Gras – no matter what the occasion, it’s always Fuddruckers. There are dozens of other restaurants in the St. Louis Park/Golden Valley/Minnetonka area, but for some unholy reason, the admin thinks our team loves this place, so we keep going back.

Well, for the most part, our team does enjoy a good Ruddfucking. It’s just another coworker and I who have a stick up our ass about this place.

Get Gordon Ramsey in this joint!

You’d be surprised on how many business guy-type assholes come in here to “touch base” with each other over lunch. I don’t get it – find all your clients and whip out that expense account and take them to…Fuddruckers? Whatever floats your boat “at the end of the day”, I guess. If you don’t believe me, come here around noon on Friday and watch them drink the corporate kool-aid in action.

I’ve been called a “snob” by a few coworkers over my hate for Fuddruckers. Oh, I’m a snob alright. Because, you know, I only go to five-star restaurants where I can go pick out a chicken from the coop myself and hobnob with my high-powered friends, all of whom I’ve invited to a mixer on Saturday night at my estate, where you can overhear me saying things like this:

“Ahem! Thurston, could you please bring me some Grey Poupon? My finger sandwich is a bit dry. Oh, look! The Wentworths have arrived. Oh, hello Biff, that’s a beautiful polo you’re wearing…”

Fuddruckers is dirty, it’s grimy, I don’t like their grease bomb food, and it’s just not worth getting fat over. They used to hang dead meat carcasses in the windows for crying out loud! I can’t, for the life of me, get that picture out of my head. Not to mention that the last time I was there, I spotted a giant centipede scaling the wall.

It’s kind of expensive too, for what it is. I don’t mind paying $$ for a decent meal. Keyword = DECENT. If I’m eating at this place, it’s because of a work function, not by choice. Work never pays for our lunch; it’s out of our own pockets. I hate spending money on food I don’t like. One

You've never been fucked until you've been Rudd-fucked. (Sorry, I *had* to go there)

time, my Fuddruckers-hating coworker and I both had ONLY water and got hateful looks from everyone. So now I succumb to peer pressure and always order something. I’m in the corporate world and ‘ya gotta play the game.

I should mention that there’s no waitstaff here – you order at a counter and they call your name over a loudspeaker when your food is ready. Fuck, if I’m going to pay $8.00 for a burger, $3.00 for fries and $2.25 for a soda, somebody had better bring it to me!

The folks who like this place go here for the burgers. I’m not a big burger fan (obviously, otherwise I’d probably luvvv this place). You can add your own toppings on your burger, allowing you to stack the tomatoes 5 feet high or if you want, you can put enough mayo on your burger to make it look like the money shot in a porn flick.

With the smoking ban firmly in place, you don’t have to worry about walking out of a restaurant anymore, smelling like an ashtray. That doesn’t mean you can walk out of an eating establishment odor-free though. Especially at Ruddfuckers. Yep, you’ll end up walking out of the place smelling like a hot, filthy short-order kitchen. I had to take my jacket to the drycleaners after the last time I was here – the french fry grease + slaughterhouse stench followed me home like a feral cat.

I think Fuddruckers struggles a bit with its identity – at least the St. Louis Park location does. It’s supposed to have 50′s diner type atmosphere, but I really didn’t notice it much. Some of the decor does give out that “1950′s era/get-in-the-kitchen, woman!” vibe. However, there’s video games (BIG BUCK HUNTER, w00T!), tons of TVs tuned to ESPN, NASCAR flags hanging from the ceiling, a wall created with cases of beer (classy!), and, oh — and a giant bug crawling up the wall. Lest we forget.

Bless those doomed souls inside the Fuddruckers

Really, what the hell is this place supposed to be? A 50′s diner or ESPN Zone? They weren’t even playing 50′s music in the background. I heard TI’s “Whatever You Like” not once, but twice when we were eating here. Which isn’t a bad thing because I do like that song. Speaking of which, have you heard the Weird Al parody? Classic!

For all the bashing I just did, Fuddruckers isn’t ALL bad. Their milkshakes are large and thick (that’s what she said) and WILL get the boys to the yard. And BIG BUCK HUNTER. Can’t go wrong there. They have Golden Tee too – if I want me some cooties, all I have to do is touch the ball. It’s my preferred method of getting sick.

Bennigan’s

One crappy food chain down, 30,000 more to go!

The St. Louis Park Bennigan’s closed down (along with almost all Bennigan’s nationwide) in July 2008. What will poor Butters do?

I shed a tiny tear along with Butters when I learned of the chain’s closing. Really, I did. I liked their baked potato soup and their Turkey O’Toole. Mmm…baked potato soup. Nobody did it better.

About 6 or 7 years ago, the guy I was dating at the time and I would come here for dinner occasionally. We’d always get in fights about the Minnesota Twins. It was like clockwork -the baked potato soup we’d share would arrive, we’d each take two sips, and the baseball bout would begin.

Too bad the park wasn't for sale in 2005, I'm sure Countrywide would have financed me.

Bennigan's is closed. OH NO! I'll have to go to TGIF's. Or Ruby Tuesdays. Or Red Lobster. Or Chilis

He was such a homer that he’d get pissed over the not-so-nice nicknames I gave our players. Luis “0-for-3″ Vas, Brian BuCAN’Tan, Brad “First Inning Rally” Radke, “There’s no I in team, but there are 2 in” Torii Hunter (thanks Chris Berman!), Ron GardenFIRE, and so on. There was one in particular that would really throw him over the edge (it also was the most childish): Matt LeSuck (LeCroy). Oh yeah, that’d really piss him off. So much so that he told me I might as well just become a Chicago White Sox fan.

Oooh BURN.

Anyway, it’s not surprising that a nationwide restaurant chain would shut down in this economy. After all, how many damn burger sports bars do we need?

I always figured Applebee’s would be the first to go, not Bennigan’s. At least Bennigan’s TRIED to be different, with its St. Patrick’s Day theme and all. Applebee’s, on the other hand, is the most bland and generic of all the major chains and doesn’t specialize in any particular theme – unless you count “neighborhood grill with random shit glued to the wall.” Say what?

The inside looked like a you stepped into 1984. They didn’t even have flat screen TVs in here! We’re almost 10 years into the 21st century and this

Butters is going to starve.

place still had CRT televisions. I thought it was a requirement for all restaurants to have flat screens these days. Hell, if this Bennigan’s were still in business, all their TVs were probably still getting an analog signal and the screens would turn to snow next month. (**Note to all wannabe hipsters: February 2009 is the perfect time to join the pretentious “I don’t own a TV” clique.)

The St. Louis Park location had an upstairs “party” area, with another bar, a bunch more uber modern CRT TVs, and a few pool tables. I’m not sure if this is common at all Bennigan’s locations (the SLP location is the only one I’ve been to). Sometimes this area is sealed off for VIP private parties, where they whisk people in with high 5′s and secret handshakes. Most of the time, the area is open and it’s a happy hour free-for-all. The upstairs is like a pigpen of 40-something year old nerds who went “AFK” long enough to get a Miller Chill + a game of pool in before returning to World of

Too bad this wasn't for sale in 2005. I'm sure Countrywide would have financed me.

Warcraft. It’s just as gloomy as the main dining area too – even more so since some guy was killed up there in 2004 in a fight over a game of pool .
This whole area of SLP is beyond depressing. On this service road, we’ve got a few hotels, train tracks, some abandoned buildings, weedy parking lots, ugly-duckling office buildings from 1975, a shady gas station with prices well above the MN average, and — for fuck’s sake — a gun pawn shop.

Plus there’s all those white-elephant eyesore city internet wifi solar panels on every damn block that I don’t think ever got used. I feel bad for those folks who had one of those planted in their front lawn. Yuck.

Another view of Bennigan's. You can see the "Alaska Eatery" (formerly Shelly's) next door.

Photos taken November, 2008. Much apologizes for the bad photos. It was a gloomy day.

Tags: bennigans, Big Buck Hunter, chain restaurants, fuddruckers, Golden Tee, lunch, Minnesota Twins, restaurants, sports bars

Silver Lake Village (former Apache Plaza location): St. Anthony, MN

Jan 14

Posted by dumpystripmall in St. Anthony | 7 Comments

This is what Apache Plaza has been turned into - a "trendy" lifestyle center

I’m not going to write a post about Apache Plaza – yes, it’s definitely an important part of Minnesota mall lore, but the deed’s been done so much better than I could ever do over at ApachePlaza.com. However, that site only provides information up until the demolition of the mall. So I’ll take it from there & show you what’s happened to the area after Apache met its fatal fate in the spring of 2004.

At some point around 2005, up went condos (*rolling eyes*), a Wal-Mart, and a smattering of typical strip mall businesses linked together by a sidewalk, which I guess is supposed to make this place a “Lifestyle Center”. Calling Silver Lake Village a “lifestyle center” is a bit of a stretch. Arbor Lakes in Maple Grove, now that’s a Lifestyle Center. This hodgepodge in St. Anthony, not so much. There’s no Anthropologie or American Eagle here; the businesses in Silver Lake Village are more of the Papa Murphy’s/GNC/Nail Salon type — day-to-day type businesses put here to meet the needs of the local residents, not shopping destination stores.

Even though there are plenty of barren spaces that have stood empty since the day this center was built, I definitely wouldn’t call this place a failure. Silver Lake Village always seems to be fairly busy — much busier than Apache Plaza was in its last 10 years. Before this area was rebuilt, a lot of people in the area were skeptical if another retail development would work in this area. So far, so good. St. Anthony is NOT the retail Bermuda Triangle that some thought it was. The Wal-Mart’s always packed, Cub Foods has always been busy, and in the summertime, the sidewalks are usually pretty hoppin’. Which I can’t quite comprehend. This commercial complex is not a place where you’d want to blow your whole afternoon, yet people wander the sidewalks here in the summer like it’s some sort of unique marketplace. The businesses here are not of the window-shopping genre, like the Shoppes at Arbor Lakes are. Most of the businesses here are service-orientated – the only actual stores here are GNC, a liquor store, a GameStop, and a cell phone store. Really, who window shops at GNC? For that matter, who SHOPS at GNC? I never see anyone in there & their prices are outrageous. I can buy energy bars and tubs of Myoplex shake mix cheaper online.

The nearby condos for sale promote this area as a “walkable community” and I

Are you fucking kidding me? There are CONDOS for sale? In THIS thriving economy? Color me shocked!

guess technically, it is. If you lived in one of the condos — and there are PLENTY still available to rent or buy — you technically could walk to Gamestop if you so desired.

There’s an open field with a small amphitheater near the back of the lifestyle center, close to the condos, that’s supposed to be some sort of a park. There’s a small man-made body of water that looks more like a runoff basin than a picturesque pond. But it’s winter, so naturally it won’t look very attractive right now. To St. Anthony’s credit, this is still a newer development, and it does have decent sidewalk traffic in the summer, so it might still cultivate into the vision that its developer originally intended.

The main draw of this area is the Cub Foods and the Wal-Mart.

Wal-Mart: This is actually a decent Wal-Mart, relatively speaking. I’m a Target girl myself, and will avoid Wally World with all my might, but sometimes it’s the only Big Box open. So if I have to go to Wal-Mart, I shop here. Conveniently, this particular location happens to be right by my house (the next closest Wal-Mart is the Fridley store and that store

Cub, St. Anthony

tore, my friends, is the be-it-all, end-all of Wal-Mart Freak Shows). You’ll find fewer toothless yokels here, but don’t worry – the St. Anthony Wal-Mart won’t completely let you down. You’re still bound to bump your cart into at least one 400lb woman’s fupa per visit and you’ll still see a fleet of rusted out 1990 Pontiac Firebirds in the parking lot.

Cub Foods: I like Cub much better than Rainbow, but I do most of my grocery shopping at Super Target, Trader

Joe’s, or Kowalski’s.

What’s in the “Lifestyle Center”?

One thing that bugs me about the businesses in this center is that they have 2 entrances – one on each side of the building. I never know which way is the front of the store and which way is the back. I suppose it doesn’t matter. I just feel awkward when I walk into a store and it feels like I entered from the back …that’s what she said.

Cold Stone Creamery: <sigh> It’s hard to believe that a new ice cream chain

Cold Stone is delicious and all, but really, for the price of a "Gotta Have It", you could've made your own GALLON-sized creation at home with a bucket of Kemps and a bag of fun-sized Butterfingers.

popped up here in the 21st century and became so popular! Aren’t we all supposed to be eating Dippin’ Dots by now?

Papa Murphy’s: For as horrible of a cook I am, I can somehow manage NOT to burn a Papa Murphy’s pizza in my oven. They must somehow fool-proof these suckers, because knowing me, I’m quite surprised I haven’t screwed up a Papa Murphy’s Take-N-Bake by now.

Caribou Coffee: I love delicious foo-foo nonsense coffee drinks. Therefore, I love Caribou Coffee. It’s so rustic with the log tables, elk decor, and the roaring fireplace. I feel like I’ve arrived in Alaska without ever stepping foot on a plane. No, I’m not being sarcastic, I really do love coffee shops and expensive coffee drinks. I get a large skim sugar-free hazelnut Northern Lite double-shot extra froth latte every morning. It’s quite delightful, really. Why do people get all up in arms about folks who go to these coffee places & order a $4 drink? These pissy people are the same ones who have no problem going out to the bar after work and running up a huge tab on pricey margaritas. Why the hate on coffee?

Inside the St. Anthony Caribou Coffee. Take a look at their menu board - it'll take you 10 minutes just to find the price of a REGULAR cup of coffee. (July 2008)

Sure…yeah, I know — people bought it in a tin can for many decades paying pennies on the dollar and thought it was great & all, but this is 2009 and I am physically unable to survive my day unless I’m paying at least $4 for my morning cup of joe.

I tend to prefer Caribou to Starbucks. I can go to Costco and buy $50 in Caribou gift cards for $40, so I’m saving 10 bucks right there. Plus, Starbucks isn’t really convenient for me as the only one by my house is the little counter in the SuperTarget so they’re not open when I leave for work. Also note that there’s FREE WIRELESS in Caribou. Starbucks makes you jump through hoops to get on their WIFI, by going through T-Moblie or some shit. And I don’t think it’s free. What’s the point of sitting at a coffee shop without the free WiFi?

I love the snob coffee scene and I enjoy being hip at 6:45AM. Hell, I know someone who started drinking coffee just so she could go to Caribou and look “cool” drinking coffee. I love premium coffee milkshake drinks, so suck it, haters – I’m living la vida mocha!

Applebee’s: I’m not a restaurant snob – I don’t mind eating at chains. Let’s face it, I live in the suburbs – chain restaurant dining is inevitable. But I really, really hate Applebee’s. I can’t think of anything on their menu that I like. If I’m dragged into an

Applebee's is for people who are tired of McDonalds and need a special night out.

Applebee’s, I have the worst time deciding on what to order because nothing appeals to me. The food is shit. Then again, going to Applebee’s and bitching about the food is like going to a whorehouse and complaining that you didn’t feel loved. Applebee’s tries to assemilate itself into the local fabric of the city, by plastering the walls with random framed pictures from the local high school marching band, but I swear I saw the same hockey jersey in this Applebee’s as I did in an Applebee’s in Milwaukee Wisconsin. I swear this shit is fake. Why would a historical society give precious, irreplaceable artifacts to a fucking Applebee’s?

Pei Wei – closed: I never know how to pronounce the name of this place – Pei Wei. Is it Pee Wee? It’s probably pronounced “Pay Way” but I like Pee Wee instead. Mekka Lekka high, mekka hiney-ho!

Other places include…

Cabina’s Italian Kitchen
Chipotle
Lexi Nails
Verizon Wireless
Citi Financial
Slim4Life
GNC
Wells Fargo
Freedom Value Gas Station
Ficocello’s Salon

Around the area

The other places around here are worth a mention – some are new and others have been here since the beginning of time. Like the TCF bank…

Every stinkin’ time I hear of a bank robbery in the Twin Cities, 9 times out of 10, it’s at a TCF bank. If it is,

The St. Anthony TCF bank has gotten robbed more times that I can count

TCF bank needs to get its act together

chances are, it’s taken place at this particular St. Anthony TCF. This location has been hit up more times that I can count. What’s wrong with robbing the US Bank that’s just across the street? Why does this particular bank attract all the trouble? There’s GOT to be some sort of security issue here. This is 2009 – no bank should get robbed on a monthly basis. Get with it, TCF! Why not just tear TCF down like they did to everything else in this area? Problem solved.

The building with a Video Stardom, locally owned coffee shop that didn’t last long, and a Great Clips: All that’s left here now is the Great Clips. I’m guessing that the Video Stardom (I believe it was a Video Update before?) closed in 2006 or 2007? One time, I flirted my way out of paying late fees here. The same dude was there a week

St Anthony (July 2008). Man, doesn't that green grass & summery sky bring a smile to your face & make you feel all warm inside? Especially on a day like today. -16 degrees ...and not including the windchill.

later, when I came in to rent Fahrenheit 9/11. He proceeded to ask me on a date (was it my choice in movies or my cute outfit?) and he gave me his number. With hesitation, I took it, but I never called. I was too chickenshit to face him again. I never rented movies from here again.

And that’s why I go to Red Box. No damn drama.

I tried the coffee shop once and wasn’t impressed. I’m all for supporting mom and pop places, but they’ve got to have the quality to back it up or else I’m taking my business elsewhere. I’m 90% positive that it went out of business before the Caribou moved in, so the “chains are destroying small businesses” rant doesn’t apply here. I tried some sort of espresso drink here once and it tasted like push-button gas station cappuccino and it gave me a gut ache. Then again, coffee in general gets my internal pipes moving, so I guess that last point is moot.

Bakers Square: I am flabbergasted that this location went out of business. St. Anthony is generally an older community and we all know how much Grandma loves that 3PM supper at Bakers Square, especially if she’s got a coupon! There really should’ve been an outpouring of support for this Bakers Square. They didn’t really have much competition in the area – there really aren’t a lot of restaurants nearby, much less those that are preferred by the retirement community. It’s not like there’s a Perkins or a Denny’s next door. What are Grandma and Grandpa going to do now that Baker’s Square is closed? Well, gives them a few more hours to watch TV judge shows and squeeze in more games of solitaire on their computer running Windows 3.1. This Bakers Square was located near Stinson Blvd (in the “back” of what was Apache Plaza). I’m guessing it went out of business sometime in late 2007? I’d go here to pick up pies for various family functions and holidays – Bakers Square makes one killer fresh strawberry pie (available seasonally).

Bakers Square is fine...if you're a Golden Girl.

Other places are:
Tires Plus
Wendy’s: There was an old Taco Bell in this same area, but it was demolished sometime in 2005, I believe.
Walgreens
Rapid Oil Change
Goodyear Tires
Culvers
US Bank

I can’t end this post without sharing a few memories of mine about Apache Plaza. Even though I grew up in Brooklyn Park, we visited Apache quite often, since we had relatives who lived in this area. I was very young when the tornado hit the mall, and I remember my dad calling my aunt, uncle, and grandparents who lived around here to make sure they were safe. I have no memories of Apache pre-tornado, so I always remember Apache as a dying mall. My grandma would take my siblings and I back-to-school shopping and I remember having to pick out outfits from JC Penny’s. Probably my most fondest memory of Apache was when, on Thanksgiving, my whole family (aunts, uncles, cousins – all from my dad’s side) decided to go bowling after dinner. It was a blast – and my uncle Tim (this is the uncle who gave me ghost shit for Christmas. Pray tell Uncle Tim doesn’t read this blog! But I don’t think he’s the type who would be interested in dead malls) got so piss ass drunk that he thought he was a human bowling ball and tried to bodyslide down the bowling lane. Believe it or not, we didn’t get kicked out. But after that incident, Mom and Dad decided it was time for our immediate family to leave. Good idea.

All photos taken December 2008.

Chipotle

The Hair Salon, located next to Chipotle

Another view of the Lifestyle Center

Metal animals outside of caribou. None of which are a Caribou.

Metal animals outside of Caribou Coffee. None of which are a caribou. Go figure.

Great Clips is the only tenant left in this building

Tear Apache down...BUILD CONDOS!!!!!

US Bank - this used to be a Marquette Bank

Walmart, St. Anthony

Cub Foods, St. Anthony

Relax, it's a recycling bin in front of the abandoned Pei Wei, not a trash dumpster. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle - the future is now!

St Anthony Liquors

A labelscar of an abandoned Bakers Square

A small strip center near Stinson Blvd, near the "back" of what was Apache Plaza & the old Apache Theater

A sign listing the stores in this strip center

Unique Thrift Store is a pretty decent thrift store, in regards to its pricing scheme. Goodwill & Savers charge like $8 for a pilly Gap sweater from 1995.

Tags: apache plaza, Applebee's, bank robbery, Caribou Coffee, coffee, GNC, lifestyle center, St. Anthony, TCF Bank, Wal Mart

The final blow to Brookdale?

Jan 8

Posted by dumpystripmall in Brooklyn Center | 9 Comments

It was only a matter of time. According to the StarTribune this morning, the Brookdale Macy’s store will close. No date was announced, but a final clearance sale will begin next week. Great time to stock up on Apple Bottom jeans and boots with the fur.

Like many Minnesotans, I loathe Macy’s, and I’m shocked at how long this store has lasted at Brookdale, but I honestly feel a little sad about this. We did so much of our “back to school” shopping back when it was Daytons. I can thank the Brookdale Daytons for my reputation as a teenage fashion plate! I would spend HOURS in the Dayton’s juniors department, trying to put together an outfit that make me look like a dazzling recreation of Six from Blossom.

Most of my teenage wardrobe came from the Brookdale Macy’s. Esprit sweatshirts! Esprit book bags! Girbaud jeans! Champion sweatshirts (along with the required white turtleneck to wear underneath)! Calvin Klein “Ck” t-shirts! Long, shapeless button-front floral dresses!

These days, there’s pretty much nothing I’d want to buy at the Brookdale Macy’s. It’s run down, it’s dirty, and it seems to cater to the taste of a hooker. Back in the day, the only “ghetto” clothing the Brookdale Macy’s sold was Cross Colours and those t-shirts with thugged out Looney Tunes characters on them.

I remember going there as recently as 2004, and even though the ghetto fab clothing was slowing creeping in, this Macy’s carried decent brands that I would buy, such as Free People and Lucky. Not anymore! It’s all Sean John, Ecko, and G-Unit clothing these days.

Now, all that’s left are Sears and Barnes & Noble to hold down the fort. No crystal ball needed to predict the future here; Brookdale isn’t going to last much longer. Bring in the wrecking crew…

I’ll try to stop in the store later this week to snap some photos, since I didn’t do that in my Brookdale Mall post.

Tags: 1990s, 90s fashion, brookdale mall, Brooklyn Center, Dayton's, dead malls, Macy's, Marshall Fields, minnesota

Village North Shopping Center: Brooklyn Park, MN

Jan 7

Posted by dumpystripmall in Brooklyn Park | 68 Comments

People give me “street cred” when I mention that I grew up in Brooklyn Park. Those of you who also grew up in the BP area probably find that statement as ridiculous as I do. Because if ice skating at the Evergreen Park rink and drying off in the warming house, taking swimming lessons at the Community Center, walking to Tom Thumb, and eating at Bok Ho gives you street cred, then by all means, call me a gangbanger. Ay yo trip! You know what I’m sayin’? Fo’ SHIZ, homeslice!

I insist to people that it was a nice area in which to grow up, but not everyone these days believes me. Rightfully so. The area has gone to pit.

But in the ’80s, it was nice. Even in the Zane Avenue area. Village North, you haven’t been forgotten!

Village North wasn’t just any old strip mall. Architecturally, it looked like a strip mall, with the shops arranged in a linear fashion, but it functioned more like a regular mall. It was always busy, you could walk the interior of the mall, they held events like craft shows, and by golly, even Santa paid his yearly visit.

Yep, these ugly townhomes replaced Village North. This particular building style can be found in just about every suburb of Minneapolis. Someone stop Ryland Homes before they take over the metro.

I joke about tearing places down and building condos, but really, that’s exactly what happened to poor Village North. They tore it down sometime in 2003, and by 2006ish, up went a bunch of cookie cutter condos/townhomes. I really don’t know how bad the crime got in the mall – I last visited it in 1998, and it seemed safe enough then.

I apologize for the lack of OLD pictures. It’s not like I didn’t try! With the exception of the Circus Circus pics, all I have are current pictures of what the area looks like today.

You’d never know a landmark strip mall once stood here.

Now it looks like they’re trying to turn Zane Avenue/Brooklyn Blvd into another Plymouth, manufactured city center and all.

The Stores:

I listed these by location – from one end of the mall to the other. This is entirely based on memory, and I could be wrong. Please let me know if you have corrections or additions by emailing me or posting in the comments.

Korner Plaza: Closed in 1987. It was some sort of department store. I believe they sold juniors clothing, toys, and inflatable rafts. Rafts? Yeah, random, I know. But my mom bought my brother and I each an inflatable raft to use up at the cabin. So they sold outdoor sporting goods too. Go figure.

Minnesota Fabrics: Korner Plaza became Minnesota Fabrics at some point.

Some big pet food store. Not sure if it was a Petco or what…? I can’t remember if the pet store took over the spot of Minnesota Fabrics when it closed or if they coexisted next door to each other in blissful harmony.

Circus Circus: For us ’80s kids, this was the main draw of Village North. No, it was nothing like its Vegas namesake – this was not a fleabag motel & gambling establishment – it was a kid-friendly arcade. It was just like a Showbiz Pizza or a Chuck E Cheese — greasy pizza, a band of singing mechanical beasts featuring one hella scary gorilla, arcade games, skeeball, bumper cars, tickets redeemable for shit prizes, and the signature dark, dreary decor that gave this place a sinister feeling.

This Circus Circus location had a big ball crawl right near the entrance. As adults, we all know it’s a bacteria farm. Unless they hired a Hazmat crew to come in to fumigate and sterilize every hour, if you went into the ball crawl, there was a pretty good chance you were going to come out with a rash and a case of the whopping cough. But at least Walgreens was right down the hallway, so you could pick up some Robitussin before heading home

My family at Circus Circus, April 1988

Sometime in the ’80s, Circus Circus remodeled and expanded. I’m not sure when this was, but it had to have been prior to 1988, as the photos below show the new & expanded dining area. The old dining area turned into some sort of sports bar with a bunch of TVs. It was separated from the main dining area by a glass wall (smoking was allowed in this area). You rarely saw families eating in this area; only really, really creepy old men hung out here, drinking beer and and chain smoking. The guys in here creeped me out – if they want to drink beer and watch the Vikings, why not go to a bar? For pete’s sake, Blondies is right down the road. Yeah…that’s because today, these same men are probably on Dateline’s Chris Hansen’s shit list. I believe they kept the animatronic show in the old eating area, at least for a while.

The new eating area was much larger than the old digs – and had a 3-ring circus style Rockafire Explosion show! (The old stage only allowed the main band). The animatronic show would just start out of nowhere, scaring the crap out of everyone. Being serenaded by a rat cheerleader, a possum in a trash can, and a scary ass gorilla lip syncing Beach Boys songs while eating greasy pizza was every kid’s dream.

They also installed this glass box that looked like a telephone booth inside the eating area. It was used for birthday parties – the birthday boy or girl would go into the box, the Circus Circus mascot (a scary clown with a huge head) started up a fan and a bunch of tickets would fly around in the box. Your job was to catch as many as you could before the time ran out. All kids were envious of whoever the birthday kid was, regardless if you knew him or not. Because WE WANTED TICKETS. They were our passports to treasure, redeemable for a giant Styrofoam pellet teddy bear, a terrycloth wristband, or a plastic yo-yo!

Elegant family dining at Circus Circus. I'm missing from this picture - I was probably off getting a disease in the ballcrawl. My dad is missing too, but he's probably the one snapping the photo - April 1988

When you ordered food at the counter, you were given a number and instructed to watch the monitors for your order to be ready. While we waited for our pizza, Mom and Dad set us loose in the arcade to play games, but instructed us to watch the monitor for our number. And this was how my parents discovered I needed glasses. I kept playing skeeball long after our number came up. Mom thought I was being difficult; truth was, I couldn’t read the monitor. I wasn’t a happy camper! I thought glasses were fug. I only needed them for distance, I didn’t need to wear them full-time. Thank goodness too, because – LIKE, WHAT ABOUT FASHION?!

Great American Music. It had a wood store front. All I can remember is that it sold records and cassettes and was located right by Circus Circus. My mom bought Michael Jackson’s Thriller tape here!

Mario’s Movies & Games: Mario dealt in new and used movies and Nintendo/Sega games. So if you wanted, you could sell your 8-Bit NES and games to Mario (but don’t get your hopes up too high if the only game you had was Super Mario Bros/Duck Hunt. You’d be lucky if he’d give you a quarter for it). Too bad eBay wasn’t around in those days. I don’t know if the place was actually owned by a guy named Mario. Probably not. Chances are, he wanted to capitalize on the Nintendo trend and use the namesake of the chubby video game plumber to lure in the hardcore gamer demographic (a.k.a. impressionable 10 year olds). After all, how many MARIOS do you know?

Famous Footwear: Not much to say about this. Though the Village North location is obviously gone, the Famous Footwears of today still look pretty much the same way they did in the ’80s.

Brauns: I HATED THIS PLACE and I imagine if you grew up in this area in the ’80s, you hated it too. It’s where Mom shopped and where kids whined and fussed. Brauns made Mom look like a mom. They sold Mom Jeans, Mom Shirts, Mom Slacks, Mom Vests, and other various Mom Accessories. Hi Mom!

Simeks Meat & Seafood: I LOVED their samples! They always had a plate of meatballs near the enterance, so while Mom finished checking out at Walgreens, my brother and I would wander over to Simecks to feast on some meat. The cashier would give us the evil eye and alert her manager to boot us out of the store if we were sneaking too many meatballs. They also sold some really good RAW cookie dough too.

Radio Shack: If Village North still existed in 2009, this Radio Shack location would still be in business. This chain should’ve died sometime in the VCR age, but nope. It’s apparently harder to kill than a cockroach. I guess there’s still enough demand out there for phone jacks, DC 12V car adapters, and metal dectectors to support this place.

Walgreens today. I believe it moved to this location in 1998

Walgreens: This was one of the busiest stores in Village North. Our doctor’s office was around the Village North area, so this is where we got all of our prescriptions filled when we were sick. Today, Walgreens is located about a block down the road, in its own stand-alone building.

Sabo Flowers

Some dry cleaning place

Hallmark

A barber shop: Even had one of those rotating barber poles!

A pet store: I’m not sure if they actually sold pets other than fish and birds, because I only remember getting flakey fish food and tank equipment at this store. I can’t remember its name. They had a great selection of pretty colored fish tank rocks too.

Plaster Paradise: Plaster Paradise was definitely different. They sold exactly what you think they’d sell – plaster. Yep, plain plaster sculptures, all ready to be colored in whatever lead-based paint hues you wish. Painting these spackle statues didn’t require a whole lot of artistic ability. Sure, you could REALLY go all out with these plastered widgets, but for the most part, anyone could make these suckers look halfway decent, even my 8 year old brother who liked to destroy my Barbie coloring books by scribbling all over the pages using Crayola’s Raw Umber and only Raw Umber.

This craft was kind of like Ukrainian Egg Art for the less talented. They had a huge selection of various spackle statues – you could paint your own knock-off Precious Moments doll or Hummel statuette. Besides the statuettes, they sold pretty much every other dust-collecting home decor item you could imagine – doorknockers, bookends, wall hangings, napkin rings, Christmas ornaments, weapons of mass destruction… All with a completely blank slate for the do-it-yourself hobbyist. They sold all kinds of painting supplies here too – different sized paint brushes and every color of paint you could imagine. Most importantly, it was MISSION CRITICAL not to leave this store without an aerosol can of shellack. Your precious artwork was not complete until you doused it with a coating of glaze, giving your brainchild a shiny varnish, ready for household display.

Company’s Coming: They sold everything you needed to throw a kick ass party, without the liquor. Company’s Coming was a “mom and pop” version of a Party City. It was a very tiny store, which really is the ideal size of a party store. I don’t get why places like Party City occupy a building as large as a Wal Mart. A party store need not to be that damn big!

Ben Franklin: I wrote about this place in my 10 Stores I Wish Were Still in Business post – basically, it’s a scaled-down version of a Michael’s. I went here to stock up on embroidery thread for my BFF Friendship Bracelet business.

Northwest Book Store: A Christian book store that sold bibles, Billy Graham posters, Precious Moments trash, and Sister Theresa bookmarks. I didn’t like this place because they didn’t sell Babysitters Club or Sweet Valley High books. Probably because a Christan book store would think Jessica Wakefield ranked right up there with Judas.

IGN Super Valu: I wasn’t a fan of Super Valu. Or its red-headed stepchild, Red Owl (located across the street). This grocer had two good things going for it: #1: The chicken clucking machine at the front of the store, where you’d put in a quarter, the chicken would cluck to the beat of a nursery rhyme, and when the song would finish, you’d get a plastic egg with a surprise inside…which was usually incredibly disappointing. I once got a “gold” smiley face ring that broke me out in a nasty rash.

#2: They had baggers who would sack up your groceries for you, place them in a plastic numbered bin, and put them on a rolling belt at the front of the store. You’d go out to your car, pull up to the curb, and the friendly stock boy would place your bags into your car. How nice.

Burger Bros: Took over the grocery store location. Burger Brothers was a locally-owned company that was acquired by Gander Mountain in 1995. They sold sporting goods and had a giant bear in the store. Burger Brothers closed in 1997.

Around Village North:

The area around Village North was quite memorable too, so it’s worth covering.

In the parking lot area:

Arby’s: Arby’s was located in the Village North parking lot. It probably faced a lot of competition from the Rax across the street. In the end, Arby’s won the Roast Beef War and stayed in business long after Rax shut its doors.

An ATM: There was an ATM in the middle of the Village North parking lot. I don’t know why I remember this, but for some reason, whenever I picture the Village North shopping center, I always remember that ATM.

Marquette Bank: This was a circular shaped building with glass windows all around it in the Village North parking lot.

AMF Village North Bowl: Even back in the ’80s, my parents wouldn’t take us to this particular bowling alley. They thought it was really seedy. And it was – I think I only went there once as a child, for a birthday party. As an adult, I went there once in 2003, and got my drink on. Enough so that I sang at the karaoke bar and cleared out the place in 7 seconds flat. I sure liked their wireless microphone… The bowling alley was in the “back” area of Village North. I think it MIGHT have been connected to the mall, but I’m not sure. This was demolished in 2005. To fill the void, Brunswick Lanes opened up sometime in 2006. Call ahead to get your name on the lane list and don’t forget your glock!

McDonalds: This was a nasty, noxious McDonalds, even back in the ’80s. It was a franchised owned, not a company-owned restaurant, so they did things their way, and it showed. They served seasonal items like an orange milkshake months after the other Mickey Dees ceased sales. They never got your order right, most of the time the cold fries were knocked upside down and spilled all over the bottom of the bag, their hotcakes tasted & looked like glow-in-the-dark frisbees, and when you bit into their chicken nuggets, you often spotted a pink, cordlike tail.

Other places around the area:

Heaven help us, it's still here...

Godfather’s Pizza: I can’t believe this dump is still around. The proof is in the photos!

There was also some sort of cowboy/hee-haw/Cattle Company style restaurant located in the Godfather’s Pizza/Century Court apartments/Blondies vicinity. You couldn’t see it from the main drag, and I can’t remember the name. It didn’t last long, and we only ate there once. All I remember is that ties were not allowed, and if you wore one, they make you take it off and replace it with one of those cowboy Randy Travis-style bolo ties — you know, with the ugly sheriff’s star pendant and a leather rope looped through it.

Century Court/Huntington Pointe Apartments: Brooklyn Park’s version of Cabrini Green. Was notoriously known as the ‘Most Dangerous Place in Brooklyn Park” by my

Brooklyn Park needs more slum lord apartments, not fucking PARKS.

circle of friends. You did NOT go here at night! Century Courts was owned by Harv and Marv – 2 notorious slumlords. It was renamed “Huntington Pointe” in the late ’90s to improve its image. The entire complex was razed in April 2008 and in its place is a park. Like Brooklyn Park NEEDS more parks….

Blondie’s: This bar is trouble – recent murder scene. Nice.

Across the Boulevard:

Ponderosa Steak House: If you’re not familiar with Ponderosa Steak House, please, for the love of god, don’t let the name fool you. Technically, yes, it’s a steak house, but if you’re expecting Ruth Chris’, Murray’s, or even Timberlodge, you will be quite disappointed. Ponderosa tried to pass itself off as a chophouse, but really it was a toned-down version of the Old Country Buffet. When a “chophouse” offers a smograsboard (with a taco bar) AND a western-style atmosphere, you’re not going to get a prime cut of meat. You couldn’t pop bottles here (no liquor licence), but you could pop buttons – since you could order a steak AND graze the buffet, you buckaroos could really get your gorge on.

Rax: It was a fast food roast beef chain, similar to Arby’s. This location used to be a Country Kitchen. We didn’t go here very often, because my mom hated this place. I don’t remember much about it except that they had good shakes, the building looked like a solarium with all the windows, and had wicked cool alligator shaped plastic bottles for the drinks. (Don’t get too excited, Rax didn’t have a liquor license either. Can you imagine what fun drinking a cap’n coke would be in an Uncle Alligator bottle? Blondie’s has the liquor license & it’s across the street, but they sure as hell don’t serve moonshine in an alligator glass. If you asked for something like that, you’d probably get a cap in your ass.

Burger King, photo courtesy of the City of Brooklyn Park

Burger King: Closed in 2004. Demolished in 2006. According to the city of BP, there’s supposed to be a medical building up in its place.

Koops Red Owl: Yuck. Didn’t like grocery shopping here either. It reminded me of a small town grocer, especially with the hanging vinyl strips in the freezer sections, that you had to dip in and out of to get your foodstuff. It was a tiny grocery store and we only went here when we were waiting for our pizza to be ready at the nearby Little Ceasers. The fresh produce section was a mess – you really had to watch your step since half of the produce was smeared all over the floor. The fruit looked too nasty to buy, anyway – wormholed apples, peaches so bruised that it looked like they got in a bar fight, and bananas so spotty it looked like they had a case of the herp. Koops is now a Family Dollar.

Little Ceasers, Clean N Press For Less, Cost Cutters: These were all located in a small strip mall near Koops. The strip mall is still standing but the standard Brooklyn Park lineup of a check cashing place and an employment office prevails. I got my first perm at this Cost Cutters when I was in 3rd grade. I was going to write about how crazy my mom was for letting me get chemically-enhanced hair at that age, but these days, 9 year olds are getting botox, so I guess a perm is pretty tame.

Mr. Roccoo is still here!

Rocky Rococo: And it’s still here! Rocky himself looks more Panama Jack than Italian Pizza Connoisseur but hey, whatever works. They have great pizza! For Valentine’s day, pick your lover up a heart-shaped pizza pie and prepared to get laid. Hubba, hubba!

Goodyear Tires: Still around today!

Denny’s: Yep, Brooklyn Park once had its own Denny’s, a soulless, homogenized version of a greasy spoon-type diner. The only time it’s okay to go to a Denny’s is if it’s 3AM and you’re trying to sober up by eating a chicken fried steak after a night of painting the town red. I didn’t eat at this Denny’s much, maybe a handful of times. When it comes to the 24-hour diner type places, I always preferred Perkins to Denny’s any day of the week. Two words: WISHING WELL. When I eat greasy diner food, I’m going to shit it all out anyway, so by god, I at least want a cereal-box quality souvenir to commemorate the event.

Dunkin’ Donuts: They served donuts when donuts weren’t kool, krispy, or kremey. There were no community service officers directing traffic in and around this place. No reporters from WCCO. No people pitching tents and camping out for a fucking bear claw. Just donuts, no drama. Donuts didn’t become “cool” in Minnesota until the Krispy Kreme in Maple Grove opened in 2001. I’m guessing this place was closed by 2001 but I’m not entirely sure. I know it was open in 1998, but that’s the last I remember it.

Budget Power: I believe there was a Budget Power in this area, across from Village North. Budget Power was a local hardware chain. I don’t think we ever shopped there. All I remember is that the logo had a lightening bolt.

More places

Rapid Oil Change: Rapid Oil Change turned into some car audio equipment store sometime in the late ’90s. Now it’s some place that’s part barbershop, part spinning rims dealer. Not surprising in the least.

The former Rapid Oil Change location

White Castle and Dairy Queen: Yep, both are still standing to this day!

Seedy Strip Mall off of Brookdale Drive: I can’t recall ANY time we EVER stopped here because even back in the day, this place was a little shady. They had (and still have) a Chinese restaurant here. I’m not sure if it’s the same one or not.

Moonraker Apartments: (At least I think they were the Moonraker Apartments. Please correct me if I am wrong). They always had that sign that said, “If you lived here, you’d be home by now.” These apartments were shit even back in the ’80s.

Please enjoy the rest of the photos – all photos (except where noted) taken December 2008.

Feel free to share your memories of Village North Shopping Center in the comments!